Intro for April 2, 2013

April 2, 2013 13:56:40 Posted at April 2, 2013 13:56:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dear Gossips,

Lindsay Lohan’s pregnancy tweet was actually posted on Tuesday April 2nd. Which means she is a such a loser she can’t even can’t even make it on time for April Fool’s. We’re getting there though, non? We’re probably getting close to that level of desperation. After all, she’s watched so many before her profit from pregnancy, and she’s certainly hard up enough, would it really surprise you? Considering, um, the people who pay for her private jet rides and appearances these days? And the services she provides to those benefactor billionaires who fly her in for a few nights of client entertainment...

Please.

Don’t you think Dina Lohan’s well aware of how lucrative that might be, say, if the sperm of someone mega wealthy were to find its way into her daughter? Jackpot.

So, really, it’s not really whether or not Lindsay Lohan wants to get pregnant, it’s whether or not some rich dude is stupid enough not to wrap his sh-t before going in.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Today is Autism Awareness Day. The Montreal Canadiens’ Children Foundation is supporting an auction including signed NHL memorabilia with all proceeds supporting Autism Speaks, on behalf of Team Canadiens Pierre Groulx, Montreal’s goalie coach. Click here to see the auction items. And click here to read about Wendy Ferris Groulx’s experience with their son Leo and the first year of his autism diagnosis.
 

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