Intro for December 23, 2014

December 23, 2014 15:20:40 Posted at December 23, 2014 15:20:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Dimitrios Kambouris /Getty Images

Dear Gossips,

I’ve been worried about our rainbow butterfly sequin empress. I was worried that we hadn’t seen her tottering around yet in Aspen, where she usually spends Christmas. And then I realised it’s because she’s been performing a series of shows at the Beacon Theatre – last night was the final. So I’m hoping by the end of the week, she’ll turn up in Colorado in her pink low cut snowsuit with a thong bottom (if anyone can do it, Mimi can) and hover above the ice while 3 bodyguards prop her up, elegantly of course, by the arms.

What cracks me up most about the Beacon Theatre marquee is how is says “show starts at 8pm sharp”. How much confidence did they have when they put that up there?

Mimi’s shows at the Beacon have been mostly drama free. Last week there was a night where her mic pack fell off and she may have whinged about losing a shoe but the voice has held, even though it’s obvious that she now has to conserve before the big, big blasts of sound that she was known for.

What she’s known for now, more and more, is Christmas. Because, well, the last album didn’t work out. And we’re probably not getting a new album for a while. So Mimi…for the rest of her career… Mimi could actually just coast on Christmas. Like in 20 years, your children won’t know Bing Crosby. They’ll only know Mariah Carey. “You mean the lady with the big hair in those tight red dresses who only shows up after Thanksgiving?” That’s the one, little Jaden son.

Yours in gossip,


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