Intro for June 17, 2015

June 17, 2015 13:55:23 Posted at June 17, 2015 13:55:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dear Gossips,

Madonna’s new video, featuring Beyonce and Katy Perry and Minaj and Miley was promised to us yesterday. SHE was the one who promised it. On Instagram last week – her words, not mine. Click here to see.

Yesterday she released the poster. It felt like Taylor Swift. OK but whatever. Beyonce alone can take 25 of #SwiftSquad members, no problem. What happened? I waited. I walked all over DC, eating up data on my phone, waiting. I waited all the way from DC to New York, eating up more data on my phone. Nothing.

And what’s even more embarrassing is that this is the SECOND TIME. You remember what happened with the Ghosttown video in April? How it was supposed to drop on Meerkat and the app couldn’t handle it? So yesterday didn’t happen and now she’s saying that Bitch I’m Madonna will be available Wednesday morning. Well I’ve waited now until 9:30amET because I was hoping to open with it and still, I don’t see it.

Inefficiency has never been Madonna’s problem. Why is it so often her problem now? She makes it worse with messages like this:

Video coming soon! Just tryin to make it perfect for all of you โค๏ธ๐ŸŒนโค๏ธ๐ŸŒนโค๏ธ๐ŸŒนโค๏ธ๐ŸŒนโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜„โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜“โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ we are hard werking bitches! #bitchimmadonna

This is how it works for someone at the beginning of their career, non? In any business. You open a restaurant and in the early days, maybe the kitchen has timing problems, maybe the restocking schedule is still being figured out and you can’t always offer what’s on the menu. And you apologise to your customers – sorry! we’re new! we are learning, please be patient with us.

But Madonna is not/should not be amateur hour. And lately, all we’ve seen from her is amateur hour. As a fan for 3 decades now, I’m telling you, there’s no joy in this observation. And on top of all that? When the video does – finally – come out, what might save her will be the appearance and performance of OTHER artists: Beysus, Katy, Miley…

That’s not the Madonna I signed up for.

Yours in gossip,



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