Intro for March 11, 2014

March 11, 2014 13:02:28 Posted at March 11, 2014 13:02:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dear Gossips,

MTV announced yesterday that Mark Wahlberg would be the recipient of the Generation Award at the upcoming Movie Awards next month. Marky Mark is a movie mogul now. So this made me think back on some of his movies. Actually, just one movie. Which is why I didn’t end up doing my Veronica Mars homework last night. Instead, I rewatched Fear. When is the last time you saw Fear? For me, a long, LONG time.

So long that I totally forgot about the roller coaster.

You remember what happened on the roller coaster? What they did, or what he did, on the rollercoaster? I’m going to play that scene for you now and you’re going to feel all kinds of hilariously awkward and weird at work and it’s so mortifyingly cheesy you might not be able to stop laughing all day but …

As brutally embarrassing as that was, I wouldn’t take it away for anything. Because they just don’t include sh-t like that in movies for that demo anymore. Sex is not allowed to be dirty. Sex is sanitised. And then a car blows up and nobody wants to make out anymore. 

So, yes, let’s celebrate Marky Mark. If for no other reason than for giving us the rollercoaster.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Thanks for your emails re: who won the Oscar contest. An email to the winner should be going in the next 24 hours.

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