Jacek’s Freebie 5

August 12, 2009 16:27:00 Posted at August 12, 2009 16:27:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s a slow afternoon in gossip unless you’re into KFed Jr. pushing a stroller or Gary Coleman selling french fries. So I’ll take this time to post my Freebie 5 list along with some recent removals and considerations.

1) Marion Cotillard

As some of you may know, this spot was occupied for a long time by Natalie Portman. More on why she’s dropped in a moment. But let’s address Marion’s hotness.

French. Big, beautiful eyes. Legs like a gazelle. And one picture got me forever. I’ve mentioned it before. The Chanel ad (which I’ve attached again for your viewing pleasure in the first thumbnail) with her and the Eiffel Tower. Best photo of all time.

2) Penelope Cruz

Pene had a brief stint in number one but I think I must have let that famous high panty shot (which we unfortunately had to remove) kill it for me a bit. Kinda shallow, I know, especially since I told you guys not to let it affect your decision when I put her up against her sister in the Cruz-off. I was just fooling myself. Freebie 5’s are all about unrealistic fantasty, and in mine, thongs ride up no higher than just below the hip bone. But even still, Pene is SO HOT that her thong-pas only dropped her to number two. And if you haven’t seen Vicky Christina Barcelona, do and replay the garden scene where she first meets Scarlett’s character. Crazy hot.

3) Natalie Portman

Speaking of shallow, I’ll now confess the reason(s) why Natalie dropped to number 3. It was a few months coming as a series of unflattering shots of her came out, finally climaxing with these pictures in her sweatpants.

As with Pene, her staying on the Freebie 5 after that horrific ass shot (the second thumbnail in the series in the linked article) is a testament of her overall hotness. Killer eyes. Killer eyebrows. Cute little moles. Smart as f-ck. Still very hot and one good photo set from being back in the number one spot.

4) Emmanuelle Chiriqui

Had a brief stint at number one a while back. Perhaps it was after these shots of her. Or these. Or these. And it always seems like she’s either oiled up her chest or someone ran in before the shot with a spritzer and made them glisten.

Also, she doesn’t appear to be a fan of bras and has the perfect boobs to pull it off. Not too big. Perfect tear drops (I won’t go on about how I hate fakies at this point). Possibly the best set in Hollywood. Combine that with her laid-back TV persona and a cute smile, and she’s safely in the top 5.

5) Minka Kelly

As you know we’re big fans of Friday Night Lights. I noticed her right away in the first season but at first it felt wrong as I wasn’t sure she wasn't in or just out of high school in real life. But by mid-way through Season 2 there was no resisting her hotness. Also has an amazing boob thing going similar to Emmanuelle. And stomach. And ass. And legs. And a gorgeous face. There’s also something sugary about her that makes you want to get nasty and see what happens.

Recent removals (but wouldn’t toss out of bed for a second):

Angelina Jolie
Rachel Bilson
Gwen Stefani
Halle Berry


Anna Faris
Jessica Alba (pure hate-f*)

Posted by Jacek
File photos from Wenn.com and Splashnewsonline.com

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