Trading Up

April 9, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 9, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Men are supposed to get better with age. See George Clooney. See Johnny Depp. See Richard Gere.

There are however an unfortunate few who only get worse, whose best days run dry around 26 or 27, who will never make that leap from teen crush appeal to real woman quiver. Ryan Phillippe has this dubious distinction. Ryan Phillippe peaked at Cruel Intentions. Ryan Phillippe is now just another Carb Face accessorized by a white beater tank and trainers.

So. Not. Hot.

So. Miles. From. Hot.

And then there’s Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake looks like ass in pants but Jake is like a George. Jake will get better with age. Jake is handsome without being “LITE”.

Jake therefore is much, much, much better for Reese. And when the Freebie Five is revamped and overhauled later this week with a brand new look, you just might see Jake on it. Not because of Reese but because of this random, totally loser dream I had last week. More on that later.

Attached - a lowkey Jake on Easter Weekend and the Ryan who can"t grow up, making up for lost time on the LA bar circuit, likely charming wannabe actress/waitresses with his cheesy come ons. 

Never in a million years...


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