Jake Gyllenhaal: not gay…but blind???
May 11, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at May 11, 2006 12:00:00
It"s probably a losing battle but I"m still not convinced Jake is Toothy Tile. Yes - I have seen the mounting evidence. Yes - Ted has practically publicly outed him without outing him. And still, I just not there. So anyway, in a rare un-homo piece of Gyllenhaal news, Us Weekly is reporting that Jakey"s found himself a new blonde beard. Her name is Gretchen Bleiler. She"s a world class snowboarder, an Olympian originally from Ohio, who has apparently moved to LA to be closer to her man. And then I stopped reading after I looked at her picture. Not that she"s completely assy lookin" but let"s be honest - my heart isn"t racing and my dyke loins aren"t trembling and ordinary girls hooking up with Hollywood studs certainly doesn"t turn my gossip crank so please don"t expect me to care what it is exactly that they do together or have in common. I will say, however, that I am rather fascinated by Jake"s peculiar taste in women. Because as stylish as she is, I think we can all agree Kiki isn"t exactly empirically attractive. Between her and Gretchen, I"d say Jakey"s got an alternative sway and it"s actually quite impressive. Lends itself, in fact, to my unpopular assertion that he prefers poon. Think about it. If he needed to camouflage, if he needed to Cruise his way through relationships, why not take Leo"s route and modelise from among the dime a dozen mannequins readily available in Hollywood and New York??? Why fly coach when you can go first class? Is Jakey gaybe? Maybe. But it"s far from slamdunk, don"t you think?