John Mayer: Michael Jackson & the hooker

January 29, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 29, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
The Look of Shame again prominently displayed at the weekend in Miami as John Mayer continues to suffer the indignity of being seen in public with Jessica Simpson, to the amazement of his fans and supporters who are increasingly bewildered by the surprising longevity of this relationship. I mean screwing her is one thing, but are they actually… Conversing??? And if John Mayer can withstand a conversation with Jessica Simpson, other than “faster bitch and not so hard”, what exactly does that say about his own intellectual standards? More importantly though – why in ass is she dressed like a prostitute??? It’s the legs, I think. The trannified legs in combination with those platform shoes – the kind of shoes that belong in a massage parlour with acrylic nails - cheap and skanky no matter how much they cost and on Jessica Simpson, who will always smell like chicken fried trailer scum, pairing it with a child-sized kimono makes it that much more Low Classy. But enough about Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson is not the loser in this situation. Jessica Simpson is actually comin’ out pretty good. John Mayer, on the other hand, as my mother would say, is comin’ out welly welly bad. Even worse… he’s starting to resemble Michael Jackson. Check out this photo posted on People from last Friday – there’s some weird cutting goin’ on around the nose area, non? And the lips…don’t the lips look kinda waxy plastic? Doesn’t his entire head look waxy plastic? See what happens when you exercise your c*ck at the expense of your brain? I’m telling you…three more weeks of this and John Mayer will be virtually unrecognizable. Source
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