Just don’t call him “Bro”

September 9, 2016 17:16:52 Posted at September 9, 2016 17:16:52
Maria Posted by Maria

Even though it’s still officially summer, everyone has fall on the brain. Starbucks is trying to make PSL happen (that’s an abbreviation for Pumpkin Spice Latte) and stores are stacked with Halloween decorations and candy. People who are really into it will start strategizing about their costume. Which means we will soon be treated to a slew of the usual ridiculously racist costumes that are supposed to be, like, super funny!

Remember Julianne Hough? She went to one of the biggest parties in Hollywood as Crazy Eyes from Orange is the New Black. In blackface. Isla Fisher told her to wash it off. To reiterate my point at the time, Julianne Hough went with a group of girlfriends and not one person said, “Hey, maybe the blackface isn’t cool.” Oh and she found time to paint her face but she didn’t change her hair or eye color. For a character named Crazy Eyes.

Jason Aldean, who I know from two things (Tidal press conference and cheating on his wife) recently gave an interview to Billboard where he talks about how salt of the Earth he is. How he is cool singing to stadiums but not cool with invasive media, like when TMZ posted photos of him kissing a woman (not his wife) at an outdoor bar. (Super happy ending though: he left his high school sweetheart and married his mistress, a former American Idol contestant. It’s like a rom-com!)

Jason laments the way people are always breathing down his neck and sh-t. Like when he dressed up as Lil Wayne for Halloween last year. He said he bought the costume and his mistress, oops I mean wife, painted his face because she’s a makeup artist. (You need a f-cking makeup artist for blackface?!) And then people were uncool about it.

As he says, “In this day and age people are so sensitive that no matter what you do, somebody is going to make a big deal out of it.” I’m just going to pause her for a quick sec: I don’t know if “anything” makes people sensitive, but blackface kind of does. You know, because it’s deeply offensive. Do I really want to Hulk out about blackface on a Friday? NO. Thanks a lot Jason Aldean, you jerkoff. I don’t even f-cking listen to country music!

In 2016 (or 2015, or 2014, WAY BEFORE), how does ANYONE think blackface is acceptable? It was a big deal when Ted Danson did it in 1993, I know because I was 14 and remember thinking “Sh-t did Sam Malone really do blackface?” I was 14-years-old and still had some idea that it wasn’t acceptable.

Halloween is an excuse for a ton of f-ckery (and actual f-cking, I’m convinced people get laid more on Halloween than they do on New Year’s Eve) but year after year we have to the same conversation that a race is not a costume. But what if I’m dressing up like a black person and am not black? Maybe chose another costume. But it’s ironic! Nuh uh. But what about Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder? NOPE. YOU ARE NOT A CAREFULLY CRAFTED SATIRE.

Blackface is ALWAYS an excuse for an asshole to act like more of an asshole.

Jason goes on to say, “Me doing that had zero malicious intent… I get that race is a touchy subject [ed note: YA THINK?], but not everybody is that way. Media tends to make a big deal out of things. If that was disrespectful to anyone, I by all means apologize. That was never my intention. It never crossed my mind.”

It sounds like Jason has thoughtfully considered how his actions contributed to a culture of systemic… hahahahahahahahahahahaha never mind he doesn’t give a sh-t and basically calling anyone who was offended a pussy. It’s obviously a giant mainstream media conspiracy to bring down Jason Adlean (am I spelling his last name right? Who gives a shit!).  #makeamericablackfaceagain

And we’re not done yet. At the top of the interview, this f-cknut is agitated. He’s super upset. His feelings are hurt because people are calling him “bro country” which is I guess like cock rock except Nickelback embraces who they are.

Jason rants, “It’s a fucking ridiculous term. It’s incredibly insulting to me. It’s meant to describe guys whose songs are about pickup trucks, drinking beer and girls.”

Jason Adlean, who is not offended (and doesn’t understand why anyone would be offended) by blackface, is offended at being called “bro country,” which is short-hand for reductive music with no substance. It INSULTS him.

Bro country label? Insulting and hurtful. Blackface? Meh, no biggie.

Jason also expounds on how proud he is of blue collar workers (I feel like this is his “regular guy” schtick, like he has one token blue collar worker around him at all times) and that when he is on the West Coast, he hates when people have a stereotypical view of Southerners. “Whenever the South is portrayed in a movie it’s seldom flattering.” Man that must be tough, having people judge and crack jokes at your expense because of where you live. Times are hard for white country star millionaire Jason Adlean. It’s almost like when a black man has to keep his wallet in his center console in case he gets pulled over… oops there goes me “making a big deal out of things” again.

Reading this, I wondered if Jason lacked a publicist, or friends, or advisors, or anyone who can point out what a giant asshole he is? Is there no one a notch smarter who is close to him and can tell him that by doing sh-t like, oh I don’t know, BLACKFACE, he is not only being terribly ignorant about his country’s history, but he’s also reinforcing all the stereotypes about Southerners that he claims to dislike? It’s almost like he’s a dumb f-cking redneck or something.

But don’t worry about Jason Adlean, he’ll be fine. It’s not like any of this will affect his sales or his country radio play. It’s not like he got up on stage and criticized the President like the Dixie Chicks, who were banned from country radio, did. I’m sure if Jason Adlean got up on stage and said something negative about President Obama, country radio would… um… they’d be super… uh….

Actually that’s probably his next costume idea.

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