Jay-Z’s BitchFace

April 13, 2010 13:43:59 Posted at April 13, 2010 13:43:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He was leaving dinner last night in New York when some dude tried to offer him candy. The look on Jay’s face makes my life. This man was an official salesman so I guess it’s not so bad but it reminds me of a time when I was at a junket and some fans (adults) were waiting outside the hotel for, I don’t know, Colin Firth to arrive or something, and they had baked goods with them that they brought from home that they brought for him as a gift.

Now I’ve been accused of not knowing how to be a “true fan” and your first inclination might be to say – oh that’s very sweet, what a nice gesture, and celebrities should be more appreciative, but making Colin Firth eat your brownies is SO NOT THE SAME as asking him to sign an autograph. Like, WHY would he eat your random brownies??? And WHY would you PRESUME that he would eat your random brownies? And WHY would you waste your time baking your random brownies and trekking them downtown to offer to him? You see Jay’s face? That’s the Random Brownie Face. Random brownies are totally offside.

I may not understand “fan” but sometimes fans, they need to check themselves.

A friend of mine sent me the link from Oprah’s Twilight call-out this morning highlighting her favourite line. It’s my favourite line too:

Are you or your kids obsessed with the
Twilight series? Have you or your kids read all the books, seen both movies and now you are counting down the days until the release of Eclipse? Have you already made plans for the release of the newest movie in June? Who's your family's favorite Twilight star...and why?

Why do you love the story so much? How has it impacted your life? What have you learned from the series and how has it made you a better person? Are you a housewife who's started a fan club with friends? Do you have a young adult in your family who's been inspired to write his/her own stories? Has the romance in Twilight sparked the romance in your own relationship?

Tell us how the Twilight series has inspired you or your family! Please only write if you are willing to appear on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

If you are a housewife who’s started a fan club with friends, you have enough problems. You do not need to be going on Oprah broadcasting that you started a support group. What you should be doing is locking that sh-t down. Lock it DOWN. Keep it inside your house. Don’t f-cking go putting it on display on Oprah. Because that episode of Oprah will be Fontrum. EPIC. Take a look at these photos from last year’s Comic-Con. Now imagine them in the audience at Oprah. And she’s whipping them up. And they’re feeding off of each other. And it’s live to tape. It’s one hundred David Brents plus two hundred Michael Scotts: one massive cringe on steroids.

Jay-Z doesn’t want your random brownie.

Photos from Bauergriffinonline.com and Michael Buckner/Gettyimages.com

Previous Article Next Article