Jen & Freeze fontrum

January 5, 2011 10:45:00 Posted at January 5, 2011 10:45:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Some expressions should be outlawed forever. Like:

“I can’t love anyone until I learn to love myself first.”

“If it doesn’t kill you, it will only make you stronger.”

“Live in the moment. Allow yourself to be free.”


And this, the latest, courtesy of Jennifer Aniston while interviewing Nicole Kidman in the new Harper’s Bazaar:

“I bow to it; I aspire to it.”


Gross.

But to be expected, I guess, coming from an article featuring these two. I’m warning you: it’s FULL of fontrum. Like those books in the “wellness” section of the bookstore:

He’s not into you, but you can convince him otherwise!


Perhaps the avoidance of that kind of reading material is what compels Gran Kidman to talk this way, as told to Jennifer:

"I remember thinking, Oh, my God, if you ever gave me a man like (Keith), I promise I would be completely devoted for the rest of my life. Something that wild. I remembered praying after I met him that I'd meet somebody, if not him, like him.”


What are your thoughts on PRAYING for a boyfriend? Am not being facetious. I really want to know. Do you think Jennifer Aniston prays for a boyfriend/husband/baby maker?

As I have said, time and again, if only she could own up to the fact that that life doesn’t interest her. Which would be great. That she celebrates being single, that she indulges in a happy trip now and again, that she f-cks whoever she wants at Courteney Cox’s pool, that she has no interest in sacrificing her body to a child. All that is ok. And all that, acknowledged candidly, would make me her #1 fan. I’d even start a fanclub.

But she pussies out all the time. And instead, she keeps fronting like she, in a heartbeat, would trade it all for a ride in a MiniVan:

"I'm so inspired by how you navigate this exquisite career and how you've incorporated this wonderful, beautiful family. I bow to it; I aspire to it.”

Do you?

I don’t think you do.

But there’s more. There’s Nicole and Jen getting super deep:

Kidman: “I like to ask people if they would rather have a great love that lasts a lifetime or an amazing career where you go down in history. Some people do answer that they want an extraordinary career."

Aniston: "I know what I would choose. That's a no-brainer. I would choose the love of my life."

Kidman: (If I could go back, I would tell my 20 year old self that) you're going to meet the love of your life. My whole thing, my whole thrust in life, was hoping I would."


Thanks, girls. Way to make An Extraordinary Career sound like the most unappetising selection on the menu.

“Some people do choose pig’s testicles dipping in snake spit, garnished in chicken feet.”

Yay for regression!

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