The Daily Old & Wrinkly: Jennifer Aniston
May 21, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at May 21, 2006 12:00:00
From the devastating effects of alcohol and overf*ckage to the devastating effects of too much sun and too much fraud…take a look at JenJen in Santa Monica this weekend looking not so J-Glow and definitely not so pressed. Sorry, but it’s something I get from my mother. She says wrinkly clothes bring bad luck and since, thanks to her, I’m intensely superstitious, I always think that if I don’t go out crisp and ironed, horrible things will happen to me. It’s something I’ve termed Feng Shui Blackmail, my mother’s way of getting me to do something I don’t necessarily want to do by making me believe that there’s a karmic explanation behind her guidance, essentially coercing me into doing her bidding in all aspects of life. It’s very clever and it’s definitely a mastered art and there are so many components, I could probably write a book about it, but I won’t bore you with another Judy story today. You’re probably sick of her already. I know I am. So back to Jennypoo. Here, let me try to be nice. Because girl to girl, no one should walk around with such dry skin. I’m thinking she might want to cut back on the sunbathing for about a year, maybe invest in a really great hydrating product – the Ren line at Kiss & Makeup is great – and start doing something about those lines. They’re so deeply set against her manly chin, I think I actually saw a penis poking out. The hair, however, looks fantastic as usual. And I like her lip colour. And did I mention her hair? It’s so nice and full and wavy. Jennifer Aniston has such great hair! Yay! Being nice is so much fun!