Jennifer Aniston’s infant hands

December 18, 2009 08:31:00 Posted at December 18, 2009 08:31:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Let’s break this down, sh-t by sh-t. Because it’s epic. The horror of Jen and Gerry’s Bounty is f-cking EPIC.

You saw the pap shots every day during filming. You heard about the hookup rumours. Now The Bounty Hunter poster has been released. It’s like it’s bad on purpose, non? Because this can’t have been unintentional. No one sucks this hard.

Look at this f-ckery. Gerard Butler is officially Grawp. See? Grawp. SPITTLE GRAWP. And next to him, Jennifer Aniston’s infant-sized hands. Newborn hands.


You want to know why this happens? It happens because the only thing the People Magazine-reading MiniVan Majority sees in something like this is her hair.

Oh but it gets worse. There would have been a script for The Bounty Hunter, right? What’s inconceivable is that these two people actually read the script and decided – sure, this is something I want to be associated with. And even worse, a studio agreed to pour money into it.

When will we be done with these movies? When?


And I know it’s a matter of taste…

But when he’s talking it’s like he’s eating. And the last thing I find quivering is imagining chewed peas flying at me during conversation.

This movie looks worse than The Morgans. And Jen is very poorly lit. Almost jowly. Skin like leather. And old. If I’m her people, I kill this film. Bury it. Block it. After the failures of Love Happens and Management, she doesn’t need another stink. How poor is she these days that she’s obliged to keep saying “yes” to this rubbish?

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