F-ck off…but don’t stop caring

December 8, 2008 12:49:32 Posted at December 8, 2008 12:49:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson sat down with USA Today to promote Marley & Me. They talked about dogs a lot, which would have made it a super interview for someone like me, but then of course she had to kill it with her hypocritically indignant diatribe about public interest in her personal life. Fail.

As for Owen’s face, and why he kept walking out during the interview (something like 3 times), like I said last week, Hollywood condones many habits. What’s a managed addiction so long as the actor keeps working? He’s a sad man battling some sad beasts in a cesspool industry that only encourages it until it hurts the bottom line.

And then there’s Jennifer Aniston. Apparently she’s Meryl Streep now. And she’s an entertainer, period. Which is why we should stop caring about what goes on in her life when the camera isn’t rolling. Like f-ck off with the privacy invasion. She doesn’t want you knowing her business. She just wants you to appreciate her work.

Ummm…what work?

Is Jennifer Aniston famous because she was able to showcase her ridiculous undeniable talent on Friends? Or is she famous because she had great hair on Friends? Is she famous because you saw Picture Perfect and called her the next Susan Sarandon? Or is she famous because she married Brad Pitt?

Jennifer believes she’s famous because she’s an “actress”:

I think it's ridiculous. There's just this insatiable need. I also haven't had a movie in a long time, so hopefully this is going to create something else to talk about and realize that I have a job, and I'm an actress.I am honestly getting sick of it, and I feel like telling people, "You know what? It's none of your f-cking business." Seriously, it's enough. It's like we're appealing to the lowest …

It’s a general lament from the narcissistic twats selling themselves in Hollywood – that they want to be left alone to explore their “craft” while at the same time engaging in PR tactics that have nothing to do with their “craft” in order to entice people into caring about their “craft”.

Simply put, most celebrities these days cannot promote a project without promoting themselves. Because they have become the product. Becoming the product was entirely of their own doing. This is true of Jennifer Aniston. It is not true of Meryl Streep. Jennifer Aniston is talking like she’s Meryl Streep. She is talking out of her ass.

She is still full of clichés too:

And this is at a time when we should be so inspired and excited with what's happening with the president. It's a time to be positive and join together. We're just trying to entertain you, man. Don't shoot the messenger.

Oh lawd. Is she capable of speaking without a tagline? What does that mean – don’t shoot the messenger? How is this relevant? Why do women hear this sh-t and stand up and tweak their nipples with delight???

All this when she just visited Oprah last week and allowed the Mighty One to ask her about Brad and Angelina and John Mayer. Why didn’t she tell the Opesey to f-ck right off? Why didn’t she decline to discuss the Brange during her interview with Vogue? Why did she INVITE THE JOURNALIST FROM VOGUE INTO HER HOME if she doesn’t want people caring about her home life???

If the “work” is all that matters, why does it matter how she chose to decorate her living room?

Just asking.

Read the full USA Today interview here. If she had stayed on topic with dogs only, it would have been a win win win.

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