Hair up, breasts out

January 16, 2015 13:44:54 Posted at January 16, 2015 13:44:54
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Kevin Mazur/ Jason Kempin/ Lester Cohen/ Jeff Kravitz/ Getty Images

And not black!

So…was this Jennifer Aniston’s “f-ck you” to the Academy?

Fresh off her Oscar exclusion, Jennifer Aniston showed up at Critics’ Choice last night in a marsala pantsuit and body chain. A body chain? Sounds about right for a girl who wears toe rings.

Question: would she have worn this if she had been nominated for an Oscar earlier in the day? After weeks of “take me seriously” dressing, would this have been her choice if her name was called yesterday morning?

Diana had a dress for this kind of thing, didn’t she? It was black and short and they called it her “revenge dress”. She was sending a message: don’t feel bad for me, I’m good. And this is Jennifer Aniston’s version. It’s the right move. I wonder though if it would have been a stronger move had she attended alone, without Justin Theroux. That said, it would also have meant that she’d have to face Brange on her own. It’s not like Angelina would have called her to give her the heads up that she’d be going to Critics’ Choice solo.

Still, at 45 years old, almost 46 (next month), those breasts are amazing. They stand up. They separate perfectly. They don’t need an Oscar to be appreciated.

PS. In case you were trying to imagine how Jen would have reacted after learning that the Academy invited Marion Cotillard to the party instead, my etalk boss Morley has a theory – and it’s PERFECT. “How’d the French girl get in?” 

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