Jennifer Aniston: one degree of Firecrotch

September 2, 2010 12:39:10 Posted at September 2, 2010 12:39:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey


It’s too much fontrum, please make it stop.

Jennifer Aniston picked up from Jessica Simpson and invited John Mayer into her bed.

Last night she was out for dinner with a mystery man. has just revealed that it’s Harry Morton. Who?

Pink Taco?

Lindsay Lohan?

Her ex-boyfriend?

I mean...

Poor John Stamos. Because if John Mayer is good enough, and Lilo’s discards are good enough, you have to wonder why John Stamos, who says he doesn’t have sex and snort rails with underage extortionists, isn’t good enough. After all, Jen’s bar doesn’t seem to be all that high.

Um, also, Harry Morton was linked not too long ago with Lolita Hayden Panettiere. Goddamn it Jennifer, it’s like you’re trying to make us feel sorry for you. The worst part is, I kind of do. And I’d rather be hated than pitied. Just a personal preference. I guess she’s proven though that she doesn’t share it.

But think about it: Jennifer Aniston can now play Six Degrees of Firecrotch with just one step. Shame.

File photos from and Pascal Le Segretain/

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