Jen, John, Pee, and Water
The most brilliant ideas are often the most simple. Perhaps that it’s never been suggested before. Now that it’s “happening” though, it totally makes sense:
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer!
The two shared an intimate lunch and dinner in Miami the other day, talking quietly and ending the evening at 1am when John was observed putting his arm around her and also holding her hand.
Their pairing is nothing short of perfect.
He with the cheese ass lyrics about bodies and wonderlands, sold as the sensitive cerebral musician and she the girl who shouts at an ocean of pitiful tears, a woman who can keep a straight face while pimping SmartWater to an audience of minivan moms who instead of gagging actually murmer yes, yes collectively when reading the following tagline from her new ad:
“I love the reflection of water… But what I drink is a reflection of me.”
Only Jennifer Aniston could sell that kind of Rossum.
And now she’s supposedly dating John Mayer.
Is your smutty sense tingling? Do you smell Stephen Huvane?
Jen’s hardworking publicist appears to be at it again. First indication? People.com was the first to break the story. Given that the magazine’s favourite spot is up Aniston’s ass, a story like this had to be sanctioned. And who better to link her with than a man with a fervent female fanbase who five minutes ago was embroiled in a same sex kissing scandal with none other than gay blogger Perez Hilton?
And what of Jennifer’s last romantic entanglement? Remember the grip from Vancouver Brian Bouma? Just last week my sources tell me he was still telling friends that they were still together. Problem is… a relationship with a nobody doesn’t make headlines.
So are Jen and John legit? Or is it simply the same smoke and mirror Hollywood media play that has characterised the golden girl’s career?
Am hoping it’s for real. Because we’re all familiar with John’s peeing proclivities. And the visual of him spraying Rachel Green has now become the happy place that I go to during the last leg of a very long run.