Jennifer Garner Gossip

Jennifer Garner gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Jennifer Garner: Taupe in Blue

January 15, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at January 15, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At the Critics’ Choice Awards on Friday – beautiful…but boring. And that’s the big knock when it comes to Taupe, non? Has she ever really OWNED a dress? As pretty as she is, with that dewy skin and those full lips and those warm brown eyes and the lovely, lovely bone structure, even with so many fetching attributes, Jennifer Garner just never quickens your pulse… and it was more of the same on this night. Full Story

The Daily Past Prime: Ben Affleck

November 30, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 30, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Past Prime is not a bad thing, you know. Past Prime means goodbye to the hunky beefcake, hello serious acting. I’m sure that’s what he’s after anyway, so it’s all good. Undeniable though, don’t you think? Three years ago, at the height of glorious Bennifer – man I miss those days – Ben was glossy and coiffed and total pinup hotness. Full Story

Jennifer Garner: From Taupe to Tranny?

November 30, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 30, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I do. I feel badly being unkind to someone whose image is so sweet. Jennifer Garner has dimples, Jennifer Garner has the cutest baby, she is the cutest mom, she didn’t starve her body back, she changed Ben’s life, so what if she ruined Michael Vartan’s? Point is, overall, Jennifer Garner, by virtue of being taupe, is extremely inoffensive. Full Story

Jennifer Garner: taupe is pretty

November 14, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at November 14, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’m telling you…since she had her kid, I’ve fallen totally in love with taupe. Taupe is what I call Jennifer Garner. Taupe is not offensive, taupe is far from interesting, taupe is bland, taupe is the colour that gets chosen by the insecure bride to ensure that her attendants don’t outshine her down the aisle. Full Story

Garner: the 10 month process

October 26, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 26, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I approve. Violet arrived in December, Jennifer took her time, Jennifer did not starve, Jennifer had to endure people speculating about a 2nd pregnancy because her bulge didn’t evaporate overnight and now ten months later, Jennifer has regained form, looking fit and natural and healthy and normal a few days ago while out for groceries. Full Story

Friday, July 14, 2006
Dear gossips, Chained to my bed, snotfaced and stinky, but smutty all the same. What"s a summer cold when Lindsay Lohan"s got her head between a bloke"s legs? In today"s issue: Lilo blows something different, Gwynnie & Garner represent, on Supergay, on Super George (the Canadian one), on Freddie P Jr., and loving Brenda forever and ever.

Gwyneth & Garner do the right thing

July 14, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at July 14, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Would my Gwynnie stoop to anything as COMMON as not eating just to regain her pre-Moses physique? (Cue patented Paltrow eye roll and exasperated exhale here). Please. As I said before, condescending bitches like Gwyneth lose weight naturally and gradually and look better for it - if only to lord it over everyone else afterwards. Full Story

Ben Affleck & the return of hot

June 11, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at June 11, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Playing a little catch up here since People pre-empted my Thursday night column last week with their legal hissy fit. Anyway, back to Ben. I can never decide when it comes to Ben. Sometimes I"m all over it, almost to the point of Freebie Five induction. At other times, however, I think he"s a revolting pudgy mess. Full Story

Adorable Baby Violet

May 14, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at May 14, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Same little face. Same little dimples. Same full mouth. Wee Violet is just like mom, non? And while I’m never particularly excited by the mostest dullest Jennifer Garner, I have to tell you…her child is cuteness overload. I suppose it’s a surprising reproductive advantage to being taupe – kind of like the Goddess’s way of reimbursing someone for penny pinching on personality. Full Story

Garner & Vartan: picture perfect

April 18, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 18, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hollywood is a crazy beast. I look at this photo and if I didn"t know better, I"d think they were completely in love. As it happens, they were only filming a scene for the final episode of Alias. Still…if my husband was smiling like this while "pretending" to be in love with two dimples and a very sweet smile, I"d have some serious concerns. Full Story

Violet Affleck and my Celebrity Baby Theory

April 11, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 11, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Do you need a recap? Refresh your memory here and then take a look, the first very clear look, of wee Violet Affleck who might very well challenge Apple Martin for baby cuteness supremacy. Now depending on your particular point of view, Violet comes from one of 2 combinations: either a hot father and an average mother or an average father and a hot mother. Full Story