Best Just Miss: Jennifer Lopez

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2006 12:00:00 September 1, 2006 12:00:00
Woah woah! Hear me out, let me explain. In a sea of girls 15 years younger, La Lopez had to pull a grande dame move. She presented the final award of the evening, the most coveted award handed out by the elder stateswomen on the scene… it was pressure to be dramatic. And JLo does drama good. However, I say “Just Miss” because while I think that the wrap and the mini dress and the boots were a great idea, it is the material that killed the ensemble. The material and that festering blister she decided to marry. But since I’m pro-love for Marc these days, we won’t go there, ok? Back to the material –total suckage. Do you remember playing with Barbie? I played dress-up Barbie a little while ago. We gave it to our niece for her birthday and then we had to babysit all three of my brother-in-law’s kids, the longest afternoon of my life, and she brought her Barbie and to my surprise it comes with, like, 5 outfits and all of them are made outta this cheesy fabric, with Velcro attached at the seams so you can mix and match the purple and the silver bits, and there’s shoes and bags and hats and other accessories too. Sorry, I digress. The point is Jennifer Lopez, she who has her own fashion line, is wearing the same kind of cheap cloth used for mass production of play dolls. And THAT, my fellow gossips, is what tipped the balance. Imagine her wrapped in something more quality, something less sparkly, leather even, anything but this low budget material… call me Cruise, but I think it would have worked. And finally…the real reason why I can’t completely dump on Jennifer Lopez – did you see that look on her face when the random dude rushed the stage at the very end? Jenny from the Block was about to throw down y’all! Now how can you not love the Bronx in the Beauty?

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