My abs are the same age as my boyfriend
JLo took her slumming to Malibu the other day. Check her out, with the twins and the backup dancer, showing off her toned stomach. Because her body is young, her boy is young, and GODDAMN IT, she’s young too!
Remember when JLo was first linked with Bradley Cooper after announcing that she and Marc Anthony were done? When asked about her love life at the time, she explained:
"As a mom, and having children, right now they're my first priority. And because of them, I wouldn't ever comment on anything until I'm in a serious relationship again. It would just be confusing for them and it would be unfair. And so at the end of the day, it's about them."
Casper seems pretty tight with the kids. I guess it’s a serious relationship. But you knew that already. Because that’s what she does, Jennifer Lopez. She falls in love. All the time. Like how 20 year old kids fall in love. In the most cliché way possible. Here’s how I imagine it went down, grossly.
INT. JLO’s BENTLEY - NIGHT
“Another Sad Love Song” plays on the stereo. Casper, in the driver’s seat, sighs. He has to sigh twice more before JLo’s notices.
Baby, what’s wrong?
Casper remains silent.
Baby, pull the car over. Talk to me, baby.
Casper pulls over. Looks out the window. Refuses to meet her gaze. JLo reaches out, puts her hand on his chin and turns his head towards her. She sees tears in his eyes.
Talk to me, baby. You can tell me anything.
Casper inhales. Summoning the courage, he slowly looks up, letting his eyes roam across her lips, her cheeks, before settling on her eyes, inhaling sharply at the concern he finds there.
You’re so beautiful it hurts. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m afraid of my emotions. I’m afraid...you’ll break me. I don’t know what I would do. I ...
What, baby? Tell me...
I’m in love with you.
JLO takes his face in her palms.
Baby, I love you. This is for real. This is for life.
You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You’re the most amazing woman in the world.
I will never love another the way I love you.
And that’s how JLO fell in love with Casper. It’s all she needs to hear.
PS. I mentioned that she’s presenting at the Oscars, right?