On Natalie & Gael

July 24, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at July 24, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
I’m going to gloat a little bit here. If you don’t want to deal with it, please skip to the next. Sorry y’all, but I gotta defend my smut, you know what I mean? One short year ago, I was naïve enough to think that the craziest, most psychotic fans on the planet belonged to Jennifer Aniston. Needless to say, I was wrong. The hardcore “Brangelina” ones can get pretty loopy, as can the “McGoslings” (yes, I KNOW how you feel about my ooey gooey moratorium and yes, the vitriolic cuss-filled emails you’re sending are DEFINITELY working to change my mind), and the Hayden Christensen ones have also been known to take obsession to a whole new level. All those I can understand. There’s the star power with the Love Triangle, the Notebook fiction turned fact with Rachel & Ryan, and the Star Wars hunk teenybopper angle with young Skywalker – they all make perfect sense to a superfan lunatic. But Natalie Portman? Would you have expected Natalie Portman to inspire such a frenzy? Me not…and yet there they were, foaming at the mouth after my last report on Natalie’s engineered “hook up” with Jake Gyllenhaal. You will recall that, at the time, I said that this convenient little “suggested” romance was absolutely NOT TRUE, not only because they are, and will continue to be, JUST good friends but also because through the spring and into early June, she was with Gael Garcia Bernal. And no, not “rumoured to be” or “supposedly with” but WITH, period. As in confirmed. In Toronto and in Paris - a serious rekindled relationship. After the article, I immediately got pounded by the hate. Apparently the Portman fans are not all that enamoured of “rat face”, their affectionate term for Gael. Now is that a nice thing to say??? Anyway, Rat Face’s detractors insisted that my smut was wrong, they found it suspect that Natalie and GGB could have been together without having photos taken, that since there WERE Jake/Natalie photos in existence, it must mean that THEY were the true couple and NOT Gael and Natalie. Because it’s completely impossible to escape the pappies, right??? Uh…wrong. No offence to the pappies but half the time they snap a great shot, it’s either out of sheer luck or out of sheer coordination. Newsflash gossips - publicists know how to pick up the phone and drop a casual hint here and there too. And then came the Buenos Aires reports. Gael’s there shooting a movie for 12 weeks, immediately the local press intimates that he’s taken up with a few beauties and in the last 3 weeks, he’s already been linked with Anita Alvarez and now most recently a woman named Dolores “Dolo” Fonzi. Within days, the over eager celebrity watchers in Argentina had them engaged and prepping for kids. So these alleged location romances, combined with the Jake/Natalie fairy tale, led the gungho Portmanites to doubt that Natalie and GGB ever reunited in the first place. BUT – wouldn’t you know it – Natalie showed up in Buenos Aires last week, spotted at the MALBA museum, in and around town, with and without Gael on several occasions. Interesting, non? She’s not filming there, she has no business meetings there, and her ex-boyfriend, who the Portman freaks refuse to believe is also her current boyfriend, also happens to be in the city? But, like, that’s just a total coincidence, right you Portmanites??? Now here’s where it gets super smutty. Ever the opportunists, some Argentinean tabloids are now reporting that Natalie flew over in a jealous fury to interrupt her boyfriend’s dalliance with Dolo, practically dragging him out of her apartment by the hair. Other agencies however are saying that Gael’s relationship with Dolo is purely platonic and that Natalie is secure in their standing and has no issues with how much time he spends with his former co-star. Dolo has also openly denied any past or present affair. There’s also some loose talk about a few comments Gael’s father may have made in recent days. Something about Mexican television, something about him denying his son’s involvement with anyone other than Natalie, something about Natalie and Gael being so happy together, and something about Grandpa wanting “Portmancitos” to babysit. I’m still waiting on slamdunk confirmation that those remarks were his but for the purposes of this particular article, I think we’ve just about settled the issue here, haven’t we? Because contrary to what the rabid Portman fanclub would like to believe, and as I have already reported - Natalie Portman and Gael Garcia Bernal are an item. They were an item last month, they were an item at the beginning of this month, they were an item last week, they were an item several days ago, and although there may be some drama with some local flooze to shake things up, they have yet to break anything off officially. And you know what that means? It means that Natalie is NOT with Jake. Do you believe me now??? My thanks to the lovely Carrie for the translation and if you read Spanish, you can check it out here and here for yourself.
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