Best Colour: Minnie Driver
May 1, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at May 1, 2006 12:00:00
I miss Minnie. Because there is something very likable about Minnie. She seems like she"d fit right in at our Friday night poker games. I could totally see her kickin" back with us, having a ciggie on the deck, declining all offers of food but not drink, shooting the sh*t on a warm summer day with her delightful accent and bawdy laugh. So I"m happy to see her looking so lovely. However, I am also quite alarmed at the size of her waist. Apparently she"s been hittin" the gym like a fiend in London lately and I do worry. I worry about Minnie in her thirties, with so many failed relationships, a rather lacklustre singing career, a pinch of loneliness lurking around every corner - I worry that Minnie is obsessing about her appearance. I worry that this obsession will turn into MiddleAge Anorexia. I worry that she"ll - as Bridget Jones always feared - end up old and alone in her flat, eaten by wild dogs. Sigh. Will Minnie ever find lasting love? Please pray yes. Oh - one more thing. As much as I can"t stand that bitch Jessica Alba, I"m telling you - her ass could broker peace in the Middle East. Take a look at it in the background behind Minnie. Try taking your eyes off it. See? You can"t. The Alba hooty and the Alba booty. Now if only she"d accept that these are her only 2 contributions to society, our world would be a better place.