Jessica Alba: full of sh-t and false modesty

October 10, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 10, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Alba Bitch is on the new cover of Elle. In the article, she talks about her style, her attitude, her religious outlook, and her ambition - to be taken *seriously* as a *serious* artist as opposed to a starlet with a *seriously* slamming body.



Not likely but ok, whatever, I can roll with that. After all, most tv girls want a big movie career... didn"t you know? And to overreach in this regard is nothing new - see Aniston, see Gellar, see Messing...come one, come all.

The shame in Alba"s case is that she really, really, really does have a fantastic physique. It"s getting progessively smaller these days but it"s undeniably amazing all the same.

Which why some of her comments in this interview are so f-cking lame, particularly related that black Versace dress she wore to the Globes earlier this year.

“I always thought Versace was for women who were more slender. I don’t think I have very nice legs, and I thought you have to have a perfect body to wear it, but somehow I kind of got away with it.”

WOMEN WHO WERE MORE SLENDER??? You take a look for yourself. Take a look at Jessica Alba at the 2006 Golden Globes.

Does it get any more slender??? Does it get any less perfect?

Take a look at Jessica Alba 2 days ago, shopping for Halloween. Those arms, the clavicle...the only person who considers THIS curvy is Victoria Beckham and I think we can all agree, much as I love her, that Posh"s body assessments leave much to be desired.

I understand that no one is ever entirely happy with what they have. I understand that we all look in the mirror and feel inadequate. But having insecurities is one thing... trying to make people believe you"re not a stick, tits, ass, and bones is another matter entirely.

There is nothing endearing to me about Jessica Alba being *surprised* that her self-proclaimed not-so-slender frame could have worked a Versace gown.

What would be endearing is if a Versace gown could fit someone like me...not fat, not thin, just normal, with an ass that keeps jiggling for 4 or 5 seconds after I stop jumping up and down.

How"s that for not so slender???


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