The Jessica School of Acting

September 29, 2009 06:54:00 Posted at September 29, 2009 06:54:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Today is We Day in Vancouver. The Dalai Lama, among others, will be addressing 16,000 young people, engaging them, encouraging them, celebrating their efforts to give back and make a difference.

Make The Difference
is the name of Jessica Biel’s foundation.

She’s working on a new film that’s shooting in Vancouver. Shelfy had a few days off, is not scheduled to work today, Tuesday, We Day. As of press time, Shelfy isn’t in Vancouver. Shelfy had to rush home to LA to see the Pip.

Meanwhile, the Alba Demon, looking hideous for much too long as a blonde, is trying out some red. Better, I guess, but not great.

A different hair colour won’t help with the career thing though. She too is in the Shelfy boat. Just a body, not much for talent, always overreaching for more, but relegated to “hot girl” roles because Portman, Knightley, Blunt, and Hathaway are always the top choices.

Speaking of Hathaway…

Did you know that she beat out both Alba and Biel in Get Smart?

M just sent over the auditions. Like the Valentine’s Day trailer, it’s a clinic in sh-t acting only the Alba Bitch is perhaps slightly better than the Shelf. Yeah, I said it. They both suck all kinds of ass, but based solely on these scenes, Alba > Biel.

Time for a new poll. Check it.

Jessica Biel auditions for Get Smart

Click here for the Alba audition.

Photos from

Previous Article Next Article