Jessica Alba’s Mean Mommy Detox

July 31, 2015 17:51:54 Posted at July 31, 2015 17:51:54
Maria Posted by Maria

Jessica Alba is promoting The Honest Co.’s new femcare line (which inexplicably boxes tampons to look like “artisanal chocolates”) so is of course pulling out her philosophies on parenting in a new interview.

The thing about Jessica Alba is that she frequently talks out of both sides of her mouth, changing the narrative whenever it suits her. She’s all about moms supporting moms and launching The Honest Co. for families, but then will say that as a new mom she felt “so judged”. Here’s the full quote, for context:

“Doesn’t it feel like the mean girl thing from high school sort of just transforms into adulthood through motherhood? I think it has to do with hormones, right? I mean, this is the first time I’m actually saying this out loud, but that mean girl stuff happens when your hormones are going crazy. And then your hormones go crazy again when you’re pregnant and having a baby. And even when you’re breastfeeding. And I feel like maybe it’s just all those hormones, and people don’t know where to put their energy, so they just start clashing.”

So, women are so hormonal that we have to rage on one another because we don’t know how to manage our feelings. And there’s no safe haven from these raging hormonal bitches. Sometimes we even get our PERIODS. Or, maybe that’s just how Jessica felt?

It is no secret that when Jessica was working as an actress, she did not have a reputation for being warm and fuzzy (or kind). She has also said she’s a tough boss and doesn’t think twice about reducing an employee to tears (click here for a refresher). So… what exactly is mean to Jessica Alba?

No doubt, mommy message boards can be vicious. Tina Fey has talked a lot about this — like many anonymous forums, the conversation can devolve very quickly. You ask a simple question about potty training and you end up with people screaming at you about Israel and Palestine. But Tina Few skewers that world with wit and nod to the madness that is modern parenting — and The Honest Co. is fueled by that judgmental madness.

The Honest Co. is a line of upmarket “eco-friendly” baby products for a demographic that cares about wiping their babies’ butts with style and conscience. This isn’t a bad thing: she has a demo in mind (my guess would be moms between 30-45, upwardly mobile, educated) and the products get great reviews. But The Honest Co. undoubtedly markets to a privileged group, the group that has the most time to spend debating holistic vaccines and Montessori vs. Progressive preschools. This is the group that knows and cares about Jessica Alba.

The Honest Co. is about buying the best sundries for your family. And the implied judgment – if you buy the regular stuff off the drugstore shelf, you don’t care enough, or you aren’t evolved and involved enough to know better. You’re the homeschooled jungle freak.

Jessica is the one who will tell you she really likes your necklace – she is the one who sets the rules, not the one who has to worry about fitting in. You know what makes me think Jessica doesn’t really feel the sting of other moms? She says in this interview that she is quick to give advice, which is just judgment wrapped in friendliness. She’s even written a book on how to live more like her. This is the balance with lifestyle — you have to convince people that while they are doing their best, they could always do better.

So, yes, the mommy world is full of Regina Georges, but the most dangerous ones come at you with a big smile and a recipe for gluten free banana bread.


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