Jessica Alba Gossip

Jessica Alba gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Agreeing with the Alba Bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2008 07:26:26 January 8, 2008 07:26:26

She’s pregnant and she’s been crustier than hell but on this point, we are in total agreement. It’s Jessica Alba on Zac Efron as told to Elle Magazine: "He looks like a child with a lot of makeup. I was like, ‘My God, you’re just a little kid."" Yes! Yes! Yes! But I imagine I’ve now totally become my parents. Full Story

Alba Bitch Breeding!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 12, 2007 00:00:00 December 12, 2007 00:00:00

In all fairness, it’s been a kinder, gentler Jessica Alba of late. This is a girl who, once upon a time, stormed up and down Robson Street in Vancouver terrorising retailers, allowing her dog to piss and sh*t anywhere it wanted without cleaning up her own mess. My favourite Alba Bitch story though is from the set of Good Luck Chuck – she had finished shooting a scene and was sitting on a chair as a crew member walked by at which point she looked at him, lifted her leg and said: You can take my boots off now. Full Story

Alba Bitch to Broadway?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 26, 2007 00:00:00 November 26, 2007 00:00:00

She can barely hold a scene in a movie, let alone centre stage on The Great White Way? The argument of course would be that if Madonna can do it… But Madonna, in spite of the atrocious acting, can COMMAND a stage. Can Jessica Alba command a stage? Seriously… But still, she tries. She tries valiantly to rise above TV girl eternity. Full Story

She Hates her Body

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 15, 2007 00:00:00 November 15, 2007 00:00:00

Ugh. Dear Alba Bitch, We get it. Your beauty is a curse. You don’t want to be known for your body. Because you are an actor. No, honey. Julianne Moore is an actor. You, sweetheart, are simply a pretty face. And a first class bitch, no matter how hard Harvey Weinstein has been talking you up. And no one will see Awake if you’re not getting naked. Full Story

The Alba Demon: Losing It

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 19, 2007 07:12:19 October 19, 2007 07:12:19

Almost universally hailed as one of Hollywood’s sexiest girls, Jessica Alba’s career is based solely on the fact that …well…she’s hot. But is she hot... STILL??? Check her out last night at the Padres Contra el Cancer"s 7th annual "El Sueno de Esperanza" benefit gala looking head heavy and bottom stick with shiny skin, a rather large forehead, and an almost ordinary everything else. Full Story

Pip’n’Ass Eat Meat

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 2, 2007 08:14:56 October 2, 2007 08:14:56

Pipsqueak and Shelf Ass were in Toronto last night eating at Morton’s The Steakhouse. Have heard conflicting reports about their demeanour. Some say they seemed relaxed though not affectionate, others observed she appeared “pouty” perhaps in response to him looking “moody”. Full Story

Good Luck Old Lady Alba

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 20, 2007 08:31:34 September 20, 2007 08:31:34

She might be a demon bitch but Jessica Alba is also undeniably beautiful. Which is why it’s so tragic that she insists on dressing like Barbara Walters. Apparently she wants to be taken seriously. If that’s the case, maybe a movie like Good Luck Chuck isn’t the best of career decisions…I’m just saying. Full Story

TIFF Svengali

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 16, 2007 00:00:00 September 16, 2007 00:00:00

Everyone on the party circuit observed it this week – Harvey Weinstein and Jessica Alba, always with their heads bowed together, always deep in conversation. He talking at her, she nodding acquiescently. At one point he was supposedly overheard giving her advice about her relationship. Harvey doesn’t seem to be a fan of Cash Warren – nothing personal, of course, just pointing out Cash’s limited value on the professional front. Full Story

Did You Know?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2007 09:35:20 August 30, 2007 09:35:20

That the healthy living Alba Demon smokes ciggies? Exclusive photos from Toronto tonight on eTalk etalk.ctv.ca! See? They all stay thin through smoking…especially the ones who claim to drink water and eat chicken breast only. Anyway, as you know, the snarling bitch is back with the brilliantly named Cash Warren. Full Story

Alba Ages

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2007 08:10:51 August 27, 2007 08:10:51

Not saying she looks old like “rough” old or like Lilo old... just saying she looks old like Katie Holmes old. Check it out – the Alba Bitch at Teen Choice last night in a lovely yellow dress and the worst highlights ever. It’s the highlights that are aging her, I think. The colour is 40 and drives a minivan – perfect for a 40 year old driving a minivan, not so much for a 26 year old sometimes referred to as the sexiest woman alive… I’m just sayin’. Full Story

Justin Timberlake and The Love Guru

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 22, 2007 00:00:00 August 22, 2007 00:00:00

LaineyGossip.com and eTalk exclusive! Have just heard exclusively from a solid source that Justin Timberlake has signed on to Mike Myer’s next film – The Love Guru – to start shooting this fall in Toronto. Pip is acting again! This time a comedy – definitely his strong side, if there is one where his acting is concerned. Full Story