Jessica Alba Gossip

Jessica Alba gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Alba Exclusive on eTalk

August 21, 2007 09:14:05 Posted at August 21, 2007 09:14:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Alba Bitch has been in Vancouver for 2 weeks on reshoots for The Eye. Incredibly there have been no reports of bad behaviour, no Robson Street retail terror stories. Anyway…have a look at this mystery man. What’s his connection to Jessica Alba? I’ll dish exclusive details on eTalk Full Story

The Alba Bitch and the weak ass break-up

July 25, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at July 25, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She is single. The Alba Demon has apparently split with her longtime boyfriend Cash Warren (what kind of a name is Cash???) while on press tour overseas for the Fantastic Four which delivered pretty underwhelming results domestically. Cash however is back in LA so Jessica called him, told him she didn’t love him anymore, and had her assistant pick her sh-t up from their house the next day. Full Story

Shelf Ass wants an Oscar

July 20, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at July 20, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Those tv girls are all the same: Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, now Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has joined the chorus of unremarkable actors vying for an Academy Award. Except in this case, Biel says she’s prepared to sacrifice for it, to follow that tried and true formula of uglification for Oscar. Full Story

The Real Biel

July 10, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at July 10, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A few civilians had the opportunity to hang with Shelf Ass Jessica Biel very recently. Said she was lovely, that she talked about JT, that they are indeed a couple, and that she apparently pulled out a joint and they all smoked it. Still a massive famewhore but now I kinda like her a little more. At least she doesn’t have a pickle up her ass, you know? Full Story

Calling Oscar...

July 6, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at July 6, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Alba Bitch says she doesn’t want to be a sex symbol, that she fancies herself an actor, wants serious roles, does not appreciate pappy attention… At the same time, whenever she has a movie to promote, somehow she appears on magazine covers wearing very little clothing. Kinda like Jessica Biel: wanting more but knowing the TV Girl Truth – at the heart of it, there’s only the Body. Full Story

Next to a real star…

July 3, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at July 3, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Out of your league, girlfriend… totally out of your league. Jessica don’t call me Latina Alba and Kate Hudson in France last night. As you can see, next to a real movie star, the Alba Demon looks positively amateur. Dressed like a constipated socialite with matron hair and the worst wannabe smile – it’s clear some people are truly only meant for TV. Full Story

Jessica Alba: MTV Bland

June 4, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 4, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

On one hand she’s hiding that slammin’ body underneath a red pouffy, on the other she’s currently on the cover of GQ posing lustfully in a bikini – Ryan Gosling and his boys were thumbing through a copy at a 7/11 the other night in Vancouver. She brings out the booty when it’s convenient, and shuts it down when she wants a new script. Full Story

Dane Cook: MTV Bloat

June 4, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 4, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dane Cook might want to chillax on the beer – a little Vince Vaughn is growing around his face, can you see it? The hype around Dane died down quicker than I thought it would. Employee of the Month fell far short of expections, could have been the Jessica Simpson effect, but suffice to say, longevity of his career hangs in the balance. Full Story

Friday, June 1, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Am flirting with 100. And anyone who plays golf will know, that’s a big deal. Career best 102 the other day, determined to go under this weekend.

LOVE golf. HATE that golf is used by little twats like Jessica Alba to deflect from a sexpot image.

“I like to play golf. Is that real dorky?”

No, bitch. The fact that you’re suggesting that someone who looks like you plays golf might be dorky is f&cking dorky. And she says she can drive the ball 200 yards too.

More on that later.

Finally Friday and Posh wakes up? She must have smelled his cheat, decided to stay close. Girl is selfish but she sure ain’t stupid.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Ass Talk

June 1, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at June 1, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There’s something to be said about the beauty of Managed Expectations, you know? Some people get it, some people don’t overreach – broken record, I know, and still every day, another two bit tv actress comes along and wants to be Cate Blanchett. Which is why it’s so refreshing that Katie Heigl has no such delusions. Full Story

Coming to her senses

May 15, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 15, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Finally… Jessica Alba - dressing demurely, making comments last week about not showing off her ass and her tits, trying to go the classy route to avoid the mishaps of her peers…all part of a delusional attempt to become a serious actress. Said it before and I’ll say it again – yet another tv girl wanting more. Full Story