Jessica Alba Gossip

Jessica Alba gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Dear Gossips,

Am flirting with 100. And anyone who plays golf will know, that’s a big deal. Career best 102 the other day, determined to go under this weekend.

LOVE golf. HATE that golf is used by little twats like Jessica Alba to deflect from a sexpot image.

“I like to play golf. Is that real dorky?”

No, bitch. The fact that you’re suggesting that someone who looks like you plays golf might be dorky is f&cking dorky. And she says she can drive the ball 200 yards too.

More on that later.

Finally Friday and Posh wakes up? She must have smelled his cheat, decided to stay close. Girl is selfish but she sure ain’t stupid.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Ass Talk

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2007 00:00:00 June 1, 2007 00:00:00

There’s something to be said about the beauty of Managed Expectations, you know? Some people get it, some people don’t overreach – broken record, I know, and still every day, another two bit tv actress comes along and wants to be Cate Blanchett. Which is why it’s so refreshing that Katie Heigl has no such delusions. Full Story

Coming to her senses

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2007 00:00:00 May 15, 2007 00:00:00

Finally… Jessica Alba - dressing demurely, making comments last week about not showing off her ass and her tits, trying to go the classy route to avoid the mishaps of her peers…all part of a delusional attempt to become a serious actress. Said it before and I’ll say it again – yet another tv girl wanting more. Full Story

Marrying Random

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2007 00:00:00 May 7, 2007 00:00:00

I like this girl…she is a doll. Have met Brittany Murphy twice, both times she was a doll, if not a little crazy. Especially last year at a Toronto Film Festival afterparty drunk off her tree. Still…she is lovely. Lovely and polite and not Jessica Alba. But she does have an engagement problem. Full Story

Two Albas in Australia

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2007 00:00:00 May 3, 2007 00:00:00

Kicking off the Fantastic Four promotional tour in Australia, Jessica Alba chose frigid prude during interviews in the afternoon and then her true potential on the carpet later on at the premiere. Bitch keeps whining about not wanting to be known for her body which is why she tries so hard to tone it down on the sexy wardrobe. Full Story

Of Course

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 30, 2007 12:00:00 April 30, 2007 12:00:00

Jessica Biel goes to the gym, stretches outside – photographers present. Jessica Biel walking her dog – photographers present. Jessica Biel going to church – photographers present. Jessica Biel attending an event for Barack Obama – OF COURSE photographers were present! And she looked great, didn’t she? Textbook “subtle” famewhoring – girl has put on a clinic. Full Story

Alba has Amnesia?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 10, 2007 12:00:00 April 10, 2007 12:00:00

Another case of a celebrity conveniently erasing her past. Jessica Alba, interview with British OK! magazine, discussing super star behaviour and being on the receiving end of super star treatment, way back before she became famous, referencing her 2 episode experience on Beverly Hills 90210 and hypocritically accusing Brenda et al for their enormous egos. Full Story

The Alba Photo Opp

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 9, 2007 12:00:00 April 9, 2007 12:00:00

Several outings without the boyfriend, this time on Sunday at the Ivy. And we all know no one goes to the Ivy without a pappy purpose. So is she really single? Is she trying to tell us she’s really single? No confirmation just yet. And to complicate matters even more, I’m hearing Cash hasn’t been around not because of love drama but because of work drama. Full Story

Jessica Alba: leaning on her gay?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 4, 2007 12:00:00 April 4, 2007 12:00:00

Cash has gone missing. Her boyfriend, I mean. Cash Warren, it’s been a few days, a few sightings, normally inseparable the two so now that he’s made himself scarce, some are wondering whether or not Jessica Alba is single again. And certain signs seem to confirm it: Her bitch-face is tinged with a little sadness, she seems decidedly unglam – the celebrity version of coping in your sweats and pigging out on ice cream– and she’s apparently easing heartbreak with her girls and her gays which as we all know is the most stalwart support system after separation. Full Story

Gisele expecting?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2007 12:00:00 March 9, 2007 12:00:00

Story blew up yesterday when Brazilian gossip site Glamurama reported that Tom Brady has knocked up Gisele Bundchen too. Although her rep initially denied the claims, NYC is now also buzzing that she’s confirmed it to all her friends, making his sperm even more potent than Kevin Federline’s. And Bridget Moynahan must be losing her sh-t. Full Story

Worst Dressed & Desperate: Jessica Biel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2007 12:00:00 February 26, 2007 12:00:00

Ummm…WTF??? For weeks I’ve been bitching about her unfounded arrival on the scene and for good reason - given last night’s atrocious outing, Jessica Biel is clearly playing in the wrong sandbox. Girl is WAY out of her league. Like, did she crimp her hair??? And age 15 years? And go colour blind in the process? Because if you’re going to make such an audacious move, if you’re going to attempt to wrench attention away from everyone else, at least…at the very least … put on a good show. Full Story