Jessica Alba Gossip

Jessica Alba gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Jessica Alba: the big bang equaliser

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 10, 2006 12:00:00 October 10, 2006 12:00:00

On the weekend, collecting a very prestigious Spike TV Scream Award. Rumour has it, the Alba Bitch is easily threatened - can"t frickin" stand having anyone remotely attractive on set with her, working for her, around her, lest another beauty dare to eclipse her own. Such a shame really…that someone so attractive can be so insecure, to the point of not realising that there are probably very few women in women in the world who can rival her face/body combination and still the gossip surrounding her competitive nature has reached near legendary levels, and you have to wonder - if she"s so hellbent on being the best, she"s really not doing herself any favours with the fringe, is she? Because underneath those bangs, the Alba actually looks almost ordinary. Full Story

Pro-love for SJP

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2006 12:00:00 October 5, 2006 12:00:00

I don"t lose my sh*t over SJP as a "fashion icon", primarily because Patricia Field is the true fashion icon while SJP just wants really, really, really badly for you to *think* she"s one. But tonight in NYC, on the red carpet for A Chorus Line - I think this is the best, best, best I"ve ever seen her. Full Story


Happy 18th birthday to Haley from mom Kim… mothers and daughters sharing smut - LOVE IT! Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony do not have matching cheekbones. Wrong on many counts including skin tone much closer to the coke. Also not Britney and Kevin. Britney hasn"t worked in 2 years and the blow babe has actually been rather busy. Finally…Jessica Alba and Cash Warren - right now, her monster bitch is the only toxin coursing through her body. Besides, she only wishes she"d be considered for the same opportunities. Fresh column soon, til then, I am yours in gossip, Lainey

Emmy Rossum: stick a needle in my eye

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 25, 2006 12:00:00 September 25, 2006 12:00:00

It"s no secret my disdain for Emmy Rossum. In my books, there is nothing more tedious than a doe eyed overgrown 10 year old with rosy cheeks and too many giggles. Which is why every time I see her grace a red carpet, sometimes in a twinkly princess number, sometimes in a debutante designer gown, sometimes in a friggin" ballerina frock, this time in a tickle me playmate teacup shift for the Teen Vogue event last week, it"s enough sugar to make me want to seize, and if given a death choice between Jessica Alba"s bitchstare and Emmy Rossum"s teacher"s pet full mouth of teeth, I"ll take the bitch, thank you very much. Full Story

The Daily Crazy: Renee in Vancouver Part 3

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 21, 2006 12:00:00 September 21, 2006 12:00:00

Like I said yesterday, I don"t know what"s going on with this girl. Maybe it"s method acting, maybe Kenny Chesney, Jack White, Beatrix Potter…maybe they all f*cked her up good. Whatever the case, she"s fallen down and hit her head and it"s a damn shame because before this I really thought Renee Zellweger was one of the good ones and then she comes to town and drives around like a woman possessed and almost runs people over and cusses about it without apology and you have to wonder - where are her manners? And how much help does she need? Here"s the latest: Vancouver. Full Story

Fergie loves meth, kicks meth, hates you

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 20, 2006 12:00:00 September 20, 2006 12:00:00

I"m loathe to bag on someone for coming clean about drug use, I"m especially loathe to bag on someone who is speaking out against the intoxicating appeal of crystal meth, quite possibly the most dangerous drug on the planet right now, both for its potency and its affordability, a drug that can cause irreparable brain damage and psychosis after just one hit, a drug that is being offered for FREE at high schools because of its highly addictive nature, guaranteed repeat customers, customers who end up on the streets, broken and alone, with lifelong mental health issues and perhaps one last ray of hope with us at Covenant House Vancouver. Full Story

Defending Madge

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 20, 2006 12:00:00 September 20, 2006 12:00:00

Is it really that bad? I don"t think it"s bad at all. In fact, I actually think it"s chic, a nice change, way better than tacky ass, long curly weaves (Jessica Alba), way better than soccer mom bobs (Jessica Simpson), and much much better than soap opera helmets sprayed on with no movement (Eva Longoria). Full Story

The New and Improved Julia Roberts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 25, 2006 12:00:00 August 25, 2006 12:00:00

In more ways than one? Clearly much better than the last go round of ads for Ferre in which she looked like an equine elf, hair pulled back, decided unglamourous. And that skirt is spectacular! A curious Julia these days, non? Extremely low key, almost eager to go unnoticed, mother earth personified, humble to the point of reinvention. Full Story

Best Speech, Worst Face: Jessica Alba

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 21, 2006 12:00:00 August 21, 2006 12:00:00

Oh dear. The mighty Alba took a tumble, didn’t she? Budget extensions, SUPER budget makeup, and let’s not go anywhere near that five dollar top. Guess who’s going to attack her stylist tomorrow morning when she finds out everyone hated her ensemble? Still…I think we have to give the Alba Demon credit for the most convincing speech of the evening, even more remarkable when you consider that the bitch giving it is the most difficult, the most demanding, the most evil little starlet in Hollywood. Full Story

Friday, August 18, 2006 Dear gossips, So I saw Jessica Alba today. Came within 10 feet of her. She was a block away from my place, the set was on a residential side street, I was out with the dog and my very pregnant girlfriend Julie who is due, like literally, any hour now, and who was advised to keep moving to speed up her labour. Since I have some money riding on her pushing that baby out tomorrow, I was all game for a stroll "round the neighbourhood and "lo and behold we step on to the street and there are the production trailers and even crazier, there she is coming out of the house. Thank Goddess Marcus, uncooperative at the best of times, decided at that moment to lift his leg so we could stop and watch. Destiny, I guess. Shockingly enough, she was not scowling. Or yelling at anyone. Or, for that matter, being fanned and serviced. She was, if you can believe it, actually walking without assistance - one of the few things she"ll agree to do herself without a whole lot of bitchfare. Small mercies, savvy? Anyway, she was headed towards an attending van, white short sleeved tee, khaki long pants, a scarf wrapped around her neck, hair pulled back, fresh face, very little makeup, tiny tiny, width wise AND height wise, definitely no taller than me and I tower at a mini 5 ft 3, with an extra maybe half inch on a good day. Oh and did I mention stunning, stunning, stunning? "Cause here"s the thing about the Demon Alba - and this is the 2nd time I"ve seen her, both times sans "film face" - the girl is pure unadulterated gorgessity. In a way that"s not intimidating either. She doesn’t look like glass, there"s not a hint of a chill about her beauty, but rather an alluring sweetness that somehow belies the bitch within. A shame, non? . That a girl so lovely on the outside could be so ugly on the inside? And finally, it looks like our efforts to unmask her horror are being rewarded slowly but surely. First the mention in Defamer and now a radio station in Detroit - The Morning X on 89X Radio, 88.7FM - quoted from my site verbatim today, giving the good people of Detroit and Windsor the real smut behind Alba"s toit little ass. Thanks to Kate for the tip. And thanks to Susan for the heads up on a small correction from yesterday that actually ends up making Jessica"s behaviour even worse than before. You"ll recall I reported that she went to a shoe store in Edmonton and told the sales girl: "Now you can take my boots off." Well it turns out that all she did at the shoe store was ignore everyone and communicate only through her helper because the boot command actually happened on the set of her movie, after she was finished shooting a sequence, she sat down like a little snot and said to some random person, an employee busy with other things, a crew member who was not paid to be her bitch, who WAS NOT HER ASSISTANT, she just ordered this person: "Now you can take my boots off." Because anyone within a 3 block radius of the Alba is automatically classified as an Alba servant. Do you love it? In today"s issue: crazy Katie still sweet, Britney and Boo, beautiful Drew, sacrificing Gwynnie for gossip objectivity, and the Hoff reborn in Belfast.

A Compliment for Katie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2006 12:00:00 August 18, 2006 12:00:00

I have no quarrel with Katie Holmes. After all, is she not the ultimate victim in this war? Let"s leave our quarrels with her master and extend some credit where credit is due. Because when all is said and done, Katie Holmes is not only a beauty, she is also a mannered beauty - and as you can see from the Alba example, mannered beauties seem hard to come by these days. Full Story