Jessica Alba Gossip

Jessica Alba gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Dumb & Indignant

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 07:14:17 June 10, 2009 07:14:17

A terrible combination. So you’ve heard about what the Alba Demon did in Oklahoma City, right? Stupid bitch gleefully slapped shark posters all over the place – posters with no text, no explanation, in the hopes that somehow this would raise awareness about …the great white shark population? Their mating habits? That they’re overhunted by greedy Asians? We don’t know! Because it doesn’t say! The worst part though is that it turns out that the Demon used one of the posters to partially cover a United Way billboard. Full Story

Alba outclassed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 5, 2009 07:32:26 May 5, 2009 07:32:26

She really was. Or, more accurately, perhaps it was her designer Jason Wu. This dress seems like it’s 2 seasons old and was last worn at some Us Weekly party by Lauren Conrad. That hurts. And the tights, not feeling the tights. On the plus side: am all over the lipstick. Fuchsia looks good on the Alba Demon who smiled almost like she meant it. Full Story

Shelfy gets a job!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 1, 2009 13:15:43 May 1, 2009 13:15:43

Revlon announced today that they’ve signed Jessica Biel on as one of their Global Brand Ambassadors. Get ready, you’re about to be shocked, but the paps also photographed Jessica out and about New York today – holding a Revlon bag! Interestingly enough, Jessica Alba is a Global Brand Ambassador for Revlon too. Full Story

She pedals herself?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2009 12:11:24 March 11, 2009 12:11:24

Am having a hard time believing it. But these are beautiful, beautiful paparazzi photos of the Alba Bitch in Paris today biking around the city. A bike with a basket, a nanny looking after the kids, during fashion week, enjoying the sights and sounds, the art, the architecture, the bread, the wine, the pastries – it’s a good life for Jessica Alba, non? This must be why she’s able to crack a smile or two in between her usual bitchface. Full Story

The Alba Bitch must work

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 3, 2009 07:25:00 March 3, 2009 07:25:00

Back in the day, on the Vancouver set of Dark Angel, a lovely man approached Jessica Alba, who was standing around with her assistant, to request an autograph for his two young boys who had come to visit dad, on security detail, at work. The Alba Bitch wasn’t feeling it. She turned to her helper, without bothering to make eye contact with her fans, and said – I told you I don’t want to talk to anyone. Full Story

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Predictable Alba

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2009 14:52:40 January 26, 2009 14:52:40

Jessica Alba was nominated for multiple Razzies last week despite ongoing efforts at wooing the MiniVan and playing like she’s civic minded. I wrote at the time: How long before the Alba Cow rushes out new photos of herself playing with her daughter to try and erase from public minds the memory of these Razzie noms? I say the weekend. Full Story

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Alba & Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 21, 2009 12:46:19 January 21, 2009 12:46:19

Oscar nominations are to be announced early tomorrow morning. And I’ll be putting out a sex tape with Colin Farrell (yeah Duana, come and get it) before Jessica Alba and Ebola Hilton hear their names announced by the Academy. They do however share a dubious distinction. Both the Alba Cow and Ebola have been nominated for Razzies – in other words, they starred in the WORST films of the year. Full Story

Alba B*tch is a bully

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 21, 2009 07:04:41 January 21, 2009 07:04:41

As you know, Jessica Alba is all, like, socially involved now, claiming to have actively campaigned among Latino voters for the Obama campaign, even though not even two years ago, she did not want to be called Latina. These days though, Alba has a new image to sell. She’s a mother, she an “actor”, she doesn’t want to be known as a “body”, not unless you pay her to star in your ad campaign for Campari. Full Story

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Alba Bitch gets cut

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2009 14:16:20 January 7, 2009 14:16:20

It’s blunt. You like? I do. She looks really young. Sigh. A fringe. I wish. But can’t. Fringe isn’t feng shui friendly during the 30s says mom. No cover up the forehead luck ah. Jessica Alba though is only 27. She has time. The new cut is going hand in hand with the new image strategy. Full Story

Too Easy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 6, 2009 13:32:09 January 6, 2009 13:32:09

Yesterday’s post about the Alba Bitch playing Taupe, using her kid for her career… Was pleasantly surprised to receive emails from you mommies quick to point out her fraud – apparently the hoop earrings were the telltale sign? See this is why I need you. Full Story

Bitch is the new Taupe

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 5, 2009 13:23:27 January 5, 2009 13:23:27

For Taupe Jennifer Garner, as you know, as was documented on blog after blog, magazine after magazine, life after Alias was all about Violet. Proven time and again, most recently with the GMD and Valkyrie, the MiniVan Majority can make or break a career. Taupe understood this. And Violet is such a photogenic child. Full Story

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