Shelf Ass wants an Oscar

July 20, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at July 20, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Those tv girls are all the same: Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Alba, now Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has joined the chorus of unremarkable actors vying for an Academy Award. Except in this case, Biel says she’s prepared to sacrifice for it, to follow that tried and true formula of uglification for Oscar.

In a recent interview, once again she sings that familiar refrain: that her looks and body may be preventing her from being taken seriously but that she’d pull a Charlize Theron in a second if it meant an award:

"I want to do everything. I always want to try something completely different from what I just did. I would definitely love to take on something that is physically totally different from what I look like and what I"m used to doing, do something like a "Monster." It"s a dream. I have to push myself and try something I"ve never tried before, put myself out there, be vulnerable and really take a huge risk."

Funny how a great publicist and a series of strategised photo opps can culminate in a high profile relationship with a little pop punk and delusions of professional grandeur.

It’s one thing to show off her body and follow Pip around Europe, it’s entirely another to convince casting directors to pass over Natalie Portman for a Shelf Ass who can barely keep up with Adam Sandler....

Looks like Justin’s enormous ego is becoming contagious.

Here she is leaving Good Morning America yesterday making an otherwise lady-like dress look positively herm. And also a photo from the night before, ducking out of Southern Hospitality with Pipsqueak’s hat on her head. Seriously, her publicist thinks of everything.

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