The Curse of the Shelfy

May 8, 2009 07:23:06 Posted at May 8, 2009 07:23:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Biel takes off her clothes in Powder Blue. Her body, it’s her best asset. And still no one cared enough to send this movie into theatres. Straight to DVD. Her other film Easy Virtue isn’t faring much better. And how about Nailed?

Directed by David O Russell, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Shelfy is an waitress who gets nailed in the head (literally), she becomes a sex addict, and then goes to Washington to team up with her congressman lover to lobby for health care reform. It was supposed to be her big artistic break. Again.

But they ran out of money. And the shoot was shut down several times. And now David O Russell is too busy to complete it, and they say Nailed may never be released. Biel confirmed as much to the Orlando Sentinel:

"That was definitely an experience, something I could NOT say no to," Biel says. "I am a huge David O. Russell fan. It’s just heartbreaking that so many people put so much work into this particular project only to have it sit there, unfinished...If I’d had an idea that it might happen, would I still have done it? I don’t know. Probably. I had an incredible experience with David and the rest of the cast. It made me a better actor. For all that, I’m devastated that it’s not finished and who knows when it will be and will come out. I still have my fingers crossed that something good will come of it, that it will be finished."

Shelfy’s on a Fail Train. This is why Justin Timberlake worked so hard to make Monday at the Met Gala all about her. Jessica Biel is a great ass. A Shelf Ass. But convincing us she’s a movie actor is the Pip’s greatest challenge.

Here they are leaving Marc Jacobs’s after party on Monday. She changed into a short blue dress and still looked like sh-t.


Thanks Sabrina!

Photos from Turgeon/Rocke/Ertischek/

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