The Power of Clinging

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2011 21:08:29 November 23, 2011 21:08:29

Hilarious article was posted on Us Weekly’s website today.

Title: Jessica Biel has the power in Justin Timberlake relationship

According to a source - obviously deserving of an eyeroll - Jessica has “the power” because she took him back AFTER HE CHEATED ON HER. This, apparently, means she’s in control…?

"Justin thinks marriage would hurt his career, but if Jessica threatened to leave, he'd do it.”

Um, if that’s the case, why aren’t they already married, motherf-cker?  

But yeah, it must suck to be called a clinger on the blogs. To be seen pathetically pining for a megalomaniacal douchebag with a giant lack of self-awareness and a “me the best” attitude…

And you expect us to believe she has The Power???

If she had the f-cking power, she’d be doing more than sh-tty ensemble movies starring Ashton Kutcher and playing the nice, pretty girl who can run with a gun in 1980s action remakes.

If she had the f-cking power, she wouldn’t have had to get even skinnier over the last 3 years to measure up - or down - to the other actresses she couldn’t compete with. And still it didn’t help.

If she had the f-cking power, she’d be Catwoman and Lois Lane, Fantine too! If she had the f-cking power she’d be MRS TIMBERLAKE…already!

No, no, Mr Timberlake still has the power. Jessica Biel just has a really hardworking publicist.

Attaching some old photos through their relationship.

Wenn, Bauer

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