Shelf AssTalk

May 19, 2009 06:07:00 Posted at May 19, 2009 06:07:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Just received an email on my blackberry from my friend Lara. The title:


The link:

Shelf Ass complaining about being too hot to work as an actress. Yeah she’s on the cover of the new Allure Magazine. The entire article appears to be a series of “sit DOWN” moments, starting with her explanation as to why she doesn’t want to marry yet:

"I have a lot to do, career-wise."

Like she was destined or something. And it goes on from there. This is where I laughed out loud. When Shelfy reveals why she’s moved to New York. Never mind about Justin and clinging to him, Shelfy says:

"I'm here because I'm interested in the theater."

Shelfy believes she can cut it in the theatre.

She also wants Hollywood producers and directors to stop hurting her feelings by casting Natalie Portman over her:

"I just want an opportunity. If you don't like the audition, then don't hire me. But if you don't even want to see me – that's hurtful."

There. That’s the window statement, right there. “If you don’t even want to see me”…

Why should they want to see her? What has she done? Why her over all the others. So many others. Others not lucky enough to have hooked up with pop music’s reigning prince…

Who the f-ck are you?

She’s a piece of ass. And she knows this. And now she says her beauty is a burden. She says it’s holding her back:

“I have to be blunt. (Being goodlooking) it really is a problem”.

Like Lara said:


Here’s Shelfy with JT walking around all smiles for the paps in New York the other day. And you’ll note her sh-tty style issues have apparently infected her jeanswearing too.

Photos from Jackson Lee/

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