Jessica Biel Gossip

Jessica Biel gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

It’s always herm on her

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 20, 2008 11:21:59 November 20, 2008 11:21:59

Picture the hat and the cute dress and the flats, picture it on Rachel McAdams, or Nicole Richie, on anyone else but Shelfy. Love it, right? But Shelf Ass Jessica Biel, she herms up everything she wears. It’s not about being too fit. Too fit is great. But the gracelessness, as though a low “guhhhh” follows her wherever she goes, makes “pretty” an entirely inappropriate attribute for the love of Pippy’s life. Full Story

Pippy & Portman?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2008 07:34:42 November 17, 2008 07:34:42

It’s probably nothing… but it will make Shelfy crazy. This is Justin Timberlake at the TRL finale last night seeming to be in good spirits, still riding the SNL high from the night before. Pip also hit up the traditional Saturday Night Live afterparty the previous night and so did Natalie Portman. Full Story

Those bangs…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2008 11:24:12 November 14, 2008 11:24:12

Are the sh-ts. Does she know? Does the Alba Demon know? That she’s not Heidi Klum? I don’t think she knows. Because we already know she has an inflated opinion of her abilities – physical and professional. This is Jessica Alba last night at the Black Ball, hanging out with Alicia Keys and Justin Timberlake and trying to pretend she can roll in the same river of talent. Full Story

Pippy’s so man!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 11, 2008 13:05:29 November 11, 2008 13:05:29

Pip’s balls may not have dropped all the way, but he swaggers like he’s a real man, all badass and ready to rumble with his security close behind him prepped to jump in as he confronts a pap for shooting him while he’s eating. Video is below. Do you remember Pipper on Punkd? When he practically wet his pants? Just as bonus, I’m throwing that in too. Full Story

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Beware the itchy green hat

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 5, 2008 09:11:58 November 5, 2008 09:11:58

Longtime readers of this blog are familiar – my people have a thing about green hats: the sign of the cuckold. So here’s Kate Hudson in LA yesterday, bundled up in a tweed coat and boots, holding but not wearing (at least not on camera) a stylish green hat. She’s not dating anyone right now but still… Why mess with the cuckold? Am told by sources that Kate had a brief flirtation in England with a crew member of the set of Nine which, in typical Hudson fashion, did not go any further, and she has now been unattached, even casually, for a few weeks, looking for an itch to scratch…which is why Shelfy Jessica Biel has had her ass permanently sewn to Justin Timberlake’s. Full Story

Her body, her bangs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 31, 2008 08:09:18 October 31, 2008 08:09:18

It’s official…maybe with some help from Spanx… The Alba Bitch has her body back. And how. Here she is last night supporting Narciso Rodriguez at his book signing at Bergdorf’s looking svelte and demure in a very fitted dress, tights, and flats. Those bangs on the other hand… those bangs are ass. Full Story

That’s all?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 28, 2008 07:37:12 October 28, 2008 07:37:12

That’s all she’s got? That’s all she brought? No one cared about Easy Virtue at TIFF. Like seriously, it came and went and received rather tepid reviews and Shelf Ass had to restrategise. Next thing you know, she and Pipsqueak are photographed every f-cking day on holiday in Rome Coincidence or conspiracy? Now the studio is pushing her out hard front and centre as the driving force for the film. Full Story

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Shelfy’s definition of Everything

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 27, 2008 06:40:57 October 27, 2008 06:40:57

There are maybe, like, two of you still sitting on the fence about Shelf Ass Jessica Biel’s insatiable appetite for fame and the increasingly embarrassing, not to mention ruthless, ways she’s attempting to achieve it. If this applies to you, I predict you’ll have changed your mind by the end of this post. Full Story

Summoned by Her Madgesty

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2008 06:48:25 October 14, 2008 06:48:25

It was a star studded carpet last night for Filth & Wisdom as all tried to gain Her Madgesty’s favour. Including Lindsay Lohan. Especially Lindsay Lohan. That’s coming up. Also Chace Crawford and the panty exploding piece of shamef&cking hotness known as Chuck Bass. Later. For now…others paying their respects at court: The beautiful Brooke Shields who, at 2 years older, still looks 10 years YOUNGER than Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman. Full Story

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Pip & Shelfy pick and choose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 13, 2008 07:04:38 October 13, 2008 07:04:38

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel showed up at a rally the other day in support of Barack Obama and to promote the youth vote. It’s a good thing, right? Sure. But here’s the question: For a couple so hellbent on “privacy”, a couple that “claims” not to put their relationship on a platter for public consumption, can they pick and choose when we get to see their love and when we get to f&ck right off? Note how they acted with each other that day – on stage, with his “fans” screaming and excited, with the media parked front and centre watching their every move, note how suddenly privacy wasn’t an issue: Pipsqueak: "I'm not here as some dude who writes goofy songs. Full Story

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