Jessica Biel Gossip

Jessica Biel gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Shelf Ass Needs a Stylist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 13, 2007 12:00:00 July 13, 2007 12:00:00

Or a new one. Or maybe it’s just her. It’s the curse of the B List, you know? No matter how clever the publicist and how famous the Pipsqueak boyfriend, Jessica Biel is simply a Shelf Ass and a tv girl. And tv girls can’t own the carpet. Last night at the premiere of Chuck & Larry… Jessica wearing something Jennifer Love Hewitt would wear and trying to suppress her ManTran. Full Story

The Real Biel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 10, 2007 12:00:00 July 10, 2007 12:00:00

A few civilians had the opportunity to hang with Shelf Ass Jessica Biel very recently. Said she was lovely, that she talked about JT, that they are indeed a couple, and that she apparently pulled out a joint and they all smoked it. Still a massive famewhore but now I kinda like her a little more. At least she doesn’t have a pickle up her ass, you know? Full Story

Calling Oscar...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 6, 2007 12:00:00 July 6, 2007 12:00:00

The Alba Bitch says she doesn’t want to be a sex symbol, that she fancies herself an actor, wants serious roles, does not appreciate pappy attention… At the same time, whenever she has a movie to promote, somehow she appears on magazine covers wearing very little clothing. Kinda like Jessica Biel: wanting more but knowing the TV Girl Truth – at the heart of it, there’s only the Body. Full Story

Back to her Best

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 4, 2007 00:00:00 July 4, 2007 00:00:00

After a well documented and photographed trip to Europe joining Pipsqueak on tour, standing blithely by with her Shelf Ass as he cussed and spat at his fans, Jessica Biel is back in LA doing what she does best: getting “caught” by the paps running errands, picking up her dry cleaning in a flattering outfit, and of course walking her dogs at the park showing off her trademark toned and taut body and of course at the beach as the wind whips through her hair and caresses her skin… All captured “inadvertently”,  of course. Full Story

Little Pip is a Dick

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 25, 2007 00:00:00 June 25, 2007 00:00:00

At least according to the Swedes. Ego tripping wanker with an over-inflated sense of entitlement and a hypocrite too – that is Justin Timberlake. According to locals, when he and his Shelf Ass were in Goteborg, he was rude to fans calling out for him at his hotel, shouting out “Are you calling me a f&ck face? Go F*ck Yourself” to people below. Full Story

Momma Pip loves Shelf Ass?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 20, 2007 00:00:00 June 20, 2007 00:00:00

JT"s mom cleverly wearing her William Rast tee, knowing that somehow, some way, Jessica Biel"s publicist would find a way for them to get photographed together. Of course the story that follows naturally will be that Lynn adores the Shelf Ass and can"t wait for them to get married. Bet your boob job People Magazine will likely report it tomorrow. Full Story

Shelf Ass Strikes Back and still overreaches

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 20, 2007 00:00:00 June 20, 2007 00:00:00

Cameron Diaz has been prancing around Europe in a series of hot dresses showing off her tight curves, now Jessica Biel is roaring back with the famous Shelf Ass – the one asset that has propelled her from existence on the B List to JT’s latest clinger and therefore A List attention. Here she is on the cover of the newest GQ showing off, of course, her killer body. Full Story

Booty Call 101: Clooney vs Pip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2007 00:00:00 June 19, 2007 00:00:00

After gallivanting with Cam at her best across Europe last week, Justin Timberlake evidently needed a booty call. Enter Shelf Ass Jessica Biel. Problem is, he was just quoted in a tabloid calling her clingy. And her publicist probably didn’t appreciate that. Which is probably why the Pip sent for her and backtracked on his “step off” stance from last week, inviting her to join him in Stockholm for the Swedish leg of his tour, bringing her on his private plane, joined also by his best friend and his mum… not unlike George Clooney. Full Story

Shelf Ass Who???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 15, 2007 00:00:00 June 15, 2007 00:00:00

Pip has a HUUUUUGE ego. And most of the time, his ego is total Rossum. But on occasion, especially when his ego doesn’t appreciate getting trumped by an overzealous publicity team for a B List actress, Pipsqueak’s ego is extremely entertaining. Full Story

Look Out Shelf Ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 13, 2007 00:00:00 June 13, 2007 00:00:00

It’s an evil thing we girls do…especially if we’re the ex. At one point or another, we all have…and don’t lie. Two weeks ago, an item somehow found its way into People Magazine – something about Justin Timberlake being totally in love with Jessica Biel, likely leaked by her clever, clever publicist. Full Story

Jessica Biel: MTV Worst Footwear

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 4, 2007 00:00:00 June 4, 2007 00:00:00

Given all the drama fed by her publicist about a showdown with Cam, Jessica Biel fell FAR short last night. And as expected, Pip did NOT walk the carpet with her – as IF he would walk the carpet with her? Please. But still…Biel has said she longs to be considered among the “top tier” of girls – the Scarjos, the Portmans. Full Story