Selective Career History

May 10, 2012 15:58:19 Posted at May 10, 2012 15:58:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Bauer, Fame/Flynet, PCN
Speaking of celebrity don’ts...

Click here for my article yesterday about the narrowing gap between celebrity and civilian and the reality star effect, compelling proper celebrities, some of them, to reach out and touch you...on Twitter!

The latest of course is Jessica Biel, timed with her first appearance with Justin Timberlake since their engagement when they showed up at the Met Gala the other night waving around that ring. (By the way, have you seen this photo of Gwyneth Paltrow, Cammie D’s best girl, sitting beside Justin and Jessica but giving them her back? They’re obviously watching something but still... that Prada table must have been awkward. Because Gwyneth has too much breeding to be outwardly mean. She will cut you in a thousand polite ways though. Like... ohhhhh... so.... you designed it so that it’s MEANT to look old? Hanging out with celebrities doesn’t interest me. Observing the way they behave around each other is infinitely more interesting.) Jessica has since been posting photos. Here’s the most recent one, thanking Ashley Olsen for, presumably, gifting her with a bag from The Row:


Jessica Biel on WhoSay

The photo was posted on her WhoSay, connected to her Twitter. On WhoSay you can attach a long ass profile if you want to. My friend Lo, a lawyer so she loves the fine print, pointed out the most hilarious omission from Biel’s bio:

There’s a list of all her sh-tty movies, including I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (where she notes it made over $100 million like it was her achievement - as IF), but nothing, NOT a mention, not a whisper of a reference to the television show 7th Heaven in which, according to IMDB, she featured in 139 episodes!

That’s ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE EPISODES.

Coincidence or conspiracy?

Please.

That’s the answer to why Jessica Biel bites my ass. It’s Rooney Mara’s “aloof”. It’s every spoiled actor who sh-ts on his/her beginnings. Biel’s selective career history is a middle finger to a show that, at the very least, helped her pay the bills when she was scheming for More, helped her cover the gaps between auditions, and may just help her in 20 years if it all dries up and her only invitations come from TV conventions where they sell autographs for 50 bucks a pop.    

You know, George Clooney doesn’t hide the fact that he was on The Facts Of Life.

How bad does Jessica Biel want it? That bio tells you how bad she wants it. Click here and scroll down to read Biel’s WhoSay bio.

Attached - Biel out in New York yesterday.

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