Homos Heal Heartbreak

July 3, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at July 3, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The mark of a true faghag…every time she gets dumped, every time her heart aches, Jessica Simpson runs for the ‘Mos. It’s our one common thread.

After Nick there was Ken Paves. Everywhere went Jessica, everywhere went Ken. Ken and his budget ass weave. Ken of the soap opera hairstyles. Ken saved her until she was ready to get peed on. And now that John Mayer has had enough, Jessica has turned herself over to her trainer Harley Pasternak who is responsible for whipping her body back into form as she prepares to start shooting Major Movie Star.

By the way – Harley also has a diet and fitness book out on the market called 5 Factor Fitness. Something tells me it’s selling briskly - perhaps Papa Joe negotiated a sweet contra deal? Train my daughter for free, we’ll pimp your book?

Sounds about right.

PS. Apparently Harley isn’t officially “out” – out in private but not in public because rich ladies in Beverly Hills prefer a hot non-homo hunk to work ‘em out. Do rich ladies have no gaydar?


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