Jess & Ken: Like Fag, Like Hag

August 23, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at August 23, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
I"m starting to have a crisis of confidence about Jessica Simpson. Is it just me? It must just be me. Maybe I"m the one with low classy taste. Maybe I"m the only one who fails to see the brilliance in all of this. Because if you ask me... who in their right f&cking mind would approve of these promo shots??? Especially the threeway. The one where gay, slut, and dog are all posing in various degrees of lobotomised mouthcocksuckage, an ode perhaps to The Stepford Wives but a tribute that, in my opinion anyway, has fallen horribly flat, hair included. All that hype about the exclusive line of extensions - have hair like Jessica! - and this is how they sell it? A multi million dollar investment for something so frickin" budget??? Why not just throw up one of those stands at the mall? You know those stands? The rolling ones? When you can"t afford official leasing space for a proper shoppe so you settle for one of those stores on wheels hawking everything from earrings to ear cleaners and massage oils? That, my fellow gossips, is a serious downgrade. And you really have to wonder: Does this bitch have any standards? Any standards at all???
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