Jessica in Elle: the fact among the lies

February 5, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at February 5, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Jessica Simpson on the cover of the upcoming issue of Elle in what must be the most unimaginative photo shoot ever. Big hair, big tits, pink dress, wind machine…never seen that before, you? And then there’s the interview. She addresses the breakdown of her marriage, she describes her current relationship with Nick, she discusses how it felt to see Nick with another woman so soon after their split: "Oh, it hurt me. Two or three weeks later? Yeah, I"d say it kind of hurt me." And then she added that there was actually still hope for a reconciliation immediately preceding the separation announcement…until she watched The Notebook on a plane and made up her mind for good…because a guy like Noah Calhoun would really fall for a girl like Jessica Simpson, right? Whatever. Let’s stay within the realm of reality, shall we? Jessica’s comments: fact or lies? Did it hurt her to see Nick stepping out with someone else? Probably. But was he stepping out only “2 or 3 weeks later?” Not according to general consensus. Because remember – they may have announced their split in November 2005 but we all know it was over a long, long time before that. As for her assertion that she was the one resolute against sticking it through – it’s becoming more and more evident that he wanted to get the hell outta there in the first place, was held to maintaining the status quo until that Perv Joe Simpson gave the go-ahead, and then played the lovesick husband card all the way to the bank. As for her insistence that her private life be kept private from now on: "I want to tell you everything, but I have to sew my lips together. It"s hurt me in the past." But despite the protests to the contrary, somehow the journalist manages a glimpse at her inbox with no less than 10 messages from John Mayer. Now how do you suppose that happened? And given that we even end up find out that the subject of one of his emails is titled “Texas Girl”, does she really mean it when she says she wants to keep love life on the down low? Fact or lies? Lies, lies, lies. All lies but her tits…Thank Goddess. Because Jessica Simpson doesn’t need to lie about her tits. How can she lie about her tits? "My cleavage is a distraction to me. It screws up every outfit I wear." Indeed it does. And I admire her for acknowledging the truth: the Tenty Tits suck ass. Example attached. Source
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