McGosling Still Lives: Another Non Story

April 20, 2007 12:00:00 Posted at April 20, 2007 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

For the first Non-Story, click here.

A thousand apologies to the sane among you who don’t give a rat’s ass. Also sorry about the asinity of this post. But I don’t exaggerate the rapacity of the lunatic McGoslings: hundreds and hundreds of emails flooding my inbox, losing their sh-t over the status of their favourite couple – so obsessed that they are practically living on message boards, overanalyzing comments, helping each other cope, and (disbelievingly enough) a few are posing as me or claiming private communication with me, and making statements and fabricating information to further their own theories about Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling resulting in even more emails flooding my inbox… absolutely NOT TRUE. Nor for that matter, and laughably enough, are there legal factors (as ridiculously suggested) involved in reporting on Rachel and Ryan or even Hayden Christensen. Three words in support of that:

Gay Midget Dwarf.

So… about Rachel and Ryan. This is an article about nothing. Because nothing has changed since last time.

Rachel and Ryan are still together. It’s called sarcasm, his remarks. It’s called sarcasm. There was no official split. They are not on a break. As of right now they are together. I repeat…together. They are also not going to be getting engaged and married on the same day. Slam.Dunk.Sources.

I know this contradicts the tabloids…which is why I love gossip. It’s a buffet - your choice what you believe. But they’d probably rather you believe the split. Believe that they are apart. Because as I understand it, the problem is not what’s between them but what’s around them. These are two people who hate being talked about in relation to their relationship. They are NOT famewhores, NOT John Mayer and Jessica Simpson. They retreat to their small home towns when they aren’t required to be working, and so will do what it takes to remove the romantic part of their lives from public discussion. They are embarrassed by the “McGosling” phenomenon and the fanaticism and the pressures that come along with it and ironically enough, these golden expectations are the only source of strain, if any, between them… which is why they are so quick to put down any reports that they’re walking down the aisle but ambivalent about reports of strife. Better to dash the illusions than to live by them.

As such maybe WE should all stop tryin’ to name their babies?

But hey – again, as I said earlier, pick for yourself from the gossip buffet.

Now please…enough with the non-stories. Can we talk instead about how hot he looked on Ellen. Minus the pants? And how hot he is in Fracture?

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