Amazingly enough, not all celebrities are born perfect like my Gwyneth. Some have assy hair, some have assy skin, some have assy asses, some like Katie Holmes have assy legs and some have assy legs and look like trannies, no matter how much they try to divert the attention away from the herm with their overly plumped c*cksucking lips.
Unfortunately for her, Jessica Simpson suffers from this unfortunate affliction, in spite of the pretty-ish face, in spite of the ample sized natural bosom, in spite of the constant presence of a styling team, Jessie’s man-legs and linebacker shoulders give it away.
Check it out: last night, out for dinner with her Main Gay – THOSE, my friends, are the legs of a man dressed in drag. You’ve seen them, haven’t you? At Halloween or at a costume party, when your boyfriend or your brother or your father decides to go as a woman, they try on your stockings, they totter around in a pair of heels from the Sally Ann, lean legs to be sure, enviously so in fact, but still…too lean and too knock-kneed, a little bowed, much too bony to be considered feminine, and more importantly, much too Man to be considered Sexy.
Poor Jessica Simpson has THOSE legs.
Which is why no matter what, no matter how hard she tries, in combination with that weave and that caricature body and that empty bobble head and that low grade style, as long as she’s showing leg, she might as well be showing a penis.