Thawing out for Jessica Simpson

August 9, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at August 9, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Every Wednesday, I do a five minute radio spot on Flow 93.5 in Toronto with Devo Brown. Devo is delightful but he is also delusional and week after week for months now, I have been raggin" on his ass for obsessing over Jessica Simpson - after all, what self respecting man with high classy taste buds would rank her above Scarlett Johansson? And yet he persists, so we fight about it on the air, with him not being able to think of anything but her tits and me begging him to come to the realisation that her true gift lies in her lips and what she does with them when she"s on her knees. But now I have a problem. My problem is that over the course of the last month or so, in light of every other two bit whore bitch I"ve been waging war against, Jessie suddenly doesn’t seem so offensive. First came the song, then came the album cover, and now a photo shoot to approve of? Hell. Freeze. Over. Jessica Simpson is finally dressing for women? I can"t believe it and yet here she is, two outfits to kill for, sexy all the same, but no breast spillage, no breast mashing, no bikini and bubbles on a hot rod in sight, and a killer kick ass wig - especially where she"s reclined in that black dress with the short, spicy "do. I hate to admit it but I also can"t deny I love it. And if this is the new her, if she can avoid the budget lookin" wedges and the f&ck me Billy hairstyles, and - come to think of it - SPEAKING in general, I think we"re all good. If that can happen, it"s safe to be a fan. IF. Only IF. Photos from
Previous Article Next Article