Jessica Simpson: why big is bad
August 30, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at August 30, 2006 12:00:00
So you know my stance against big boobs, right? Quick recap - I have "em, I hate "em, if I had the courage, I"d lop "em off and risk divorce. Mostly because they"re a motherf&ckin" nuisance. But also because in my humble opinion, clothes look better on a board. Case in point - check out Jessie leaving TRL today. The ensemble is bunk and yes, she looks kinda…slow, dropped on the head, whatever, I get it…but look beyond that for a second. Look beyond that and check out her chest. It"s a high collar, it"s a relatively standard blouse, and yet because of her heavy load, because of those luscious protrusions, she"s top heavy, she"s wide, and worse yet, she"s tented, her blouse doesn"t come back "in" to her waist. Please don"t try to tell me this is a good thing. It is absolutely NOT a good thing. And this is the problem, gossips. MY problem too often. Because being able to work a simple, button-down shirt means more to me than filling out a bikini. Call me Cruise, argue with me til we"re blue in the face, but ask yourself this: how much better would this have looked 3 cups smaller?