Thankful for Friends

October 13, 2008 10:58:04 Posted at October 13, 2008 10:58:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Real girls don’t let girls go out looking stupid. Or twatty. Or porny. And certainly not all of the above. So it goes without saying, this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for my girls.

Because while I may go out looking like a raging f&cking bitch every day, my girls would never let me go out looking like my legs belong permanently in the air with my mouth wrapped around a cock. Quite the opposite in fact. I’ve never been a boys’ kind of girl. At least not That Boy’s kind of girl.

Like Porny Jessica Simpson.

Oh Porny…what will we do with you?

Here she is performing at Lowes Motor Speedway – a perfect audience for her little black shorts, porning out in a Dale Jr tank before the start of the Bank of America 500, and fellating the microphone because that’s just how she works it.

But if we have to get technical here, I’d say her “technique” is probably a little too rigorous. Yet another porn myth, because as we know, you don’t have to giv’er to get where you’re going…

Real girls could have taught her that too.

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com

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