Porny is pregnant again
Oh here we go.
More gross belly cupping on the way.
US Weekly reports exclusively that Jessica Simpson is pregnant again. There’s no official confirmation but the magazine did reach out to her reps in advance with no comment in response and that means they were given a heads up about the story. So it’s pretty much locked, then. She’s apparently 9 weeks, which is early, which means we have 9 months of it...
9 months of this kind of trite sh-t:
“She really is overjoyed!”
“They couldn’t be more excited!”
“They are so happy and can’t wait to meet their baby!”
Just once I want someone to say, “I’m not really in a hurry to have this child, you know? I’m in no rush to be underslept and overtired”.
But at least we get to play the Porny Name Game again. Is there any way anymore that it’ll be Joe?
Porny just finished shooting her new commercial for Weight Watchers two weeks ago. Click here to see a photo she posted from the set. She’s wearing all black to maximise the appearance of slimness, her skinny triumph. Now that she’s thin, she’s good enough again, is that it? A few months ago, in her first ad for the company, they only shot her from her shoulders up. Because that was shameful, what she looked like before.
So how does it work now? Does she get another $3 million to lose the weight again? Porny’s sources say this was unplanned but I wonder if that’s how they manage her motivation, you know?
You only have to eat fish for 3 months, baby. Just 3 months. And after that we’ll knock you up and you can go back to hotdogs and mojos. It’s like negotiating with a 5 year old.
Mike Coppola/ Getty