Porny’s not pregnant

November 24, 2010 07:19:51 Posted at November 24, 2010 07:19:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At least that’s what she told Access Hollywood.

The other day the bump-obsessed among you swore up and down that she looked rough at the airport in New York because she’s in her first trimester. Could be. But she says no.

“There are no babies yet. But I definitely see myself having a family with him, so that's exciting to think about."

I know the key word here is “yet” and, if it were anyone else, the clever positioning of it in this sentence definitely leaves open the possibility that Porny is indeed pregnant.

But ask yourselves: is she smart enough to be ambiguous?


When she says there are no babies yet, I have to believe that she means there are no babies. Because she’s too f-cking dumb to not mean what she says. And she’s too f-cking dumb to actually think this might be true:

"I love how confident (Eric) is and he's not fazed by this world and life that I'm living in. I can't imagine my life without him in it."

Of course he’s not fazed by this world. Why would it faze him? It’s not like he works. It’s not like he does anything but fly around the country with her, first class, staying at the best hotels, eating at the best places, pampered and spoiled and carefree...

Why should he be fazed???

Now she’s publicly declaring that he’s indispensable. It’s tantamount to starting up a bank account in his name and putting half her money in there immediately. Love can make us so stupid. And when you’re so stupid to begin with, the consequences can be devastating, especially when there are no friends around, even sh-tty friends, to protect her.

Note that Jessica Simpson has hardly, hardly been hanging out with anyone else since she and Eric Johnson became serious. Her breakup with Ken Paves has been well documented. No one else seems to be around either. It’s not a good sign when a man replaces everyone. Does it look like he has systematically isolated her from those who may have not been down with their fast track engagement?

Here’s my Porny with her golddigger in New York last night out for dinner.

Photos from

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