Porny confuses Tongues & Necks

April 18, 2011 06:48:20 Posted at April 18, 2011 06:48:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There was an article that appeared on late Friday. Porny talked to the magazine about her wedding dress, what she’s looking for, what she has in mind. Oh la.

Apparently Porny does NOT want to look “top heavy” (since when???) and as such, is considering something with a v-neck or a scoop neck. She explains:

"I like my collar bone. I have a long neck, so I like to show off my décolletage."


She’s confusing her neck with her tongue, right? Her tongue is a long ass bitch, yes. But her neck? Her neck is not long. Her neck is a f-cking stub. Which is why she could put a tray of food on her chest and eat straight off her tits without lifting a finger.

Long neck my ass.

See below a selection of photos purposely chosen to make her neck look as long as it possibly can. Her hair is up. She’s wearing a wide, open, scoop dress. She’s elongating it as much as she can on the carpet. And still. That sh-t ain’t long. That sh-t is average at best. Truncated at worst. And maybe a little on the thick side.

Which, I mean there’s nothing wrong with that. At all.

Not everyone is born Gisele Bundchen. I have really thick, short calves and sometimes they look alarmingly roidy in skinny jeans. Also, one side of my face droops lower than the other. And my nose looks like a bird’s. The point is we work with what we have. And the best results happen when we work with what we have realistically. Now we have some insight into what Porny THINKs she’s working with. Someone told her she has a long neck. And it’s too late to tell her that she actually doesn’t. So she’s been operating from that illusion all along, every style decision rooted in that fallacy. It explains so much.

File photos from

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