Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Porny isn’t pregnant, just drunk

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 2, 2010 10:48:51 December 2, 2010 10:48:51

Remember when she looked like this and all you bumpwatch obsessed immediately concluded that she must be pregnant. Well... Is Jessica Simpson stupid enough to harm her baby with the drank? Debatable. But the people around her should probably be aware of the harmful effects that margaritas and tequila shots can have on an unborn child. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Porny plays the Doctor Game & Sailor Suits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 1, 2010 09:15:45 December 1, 2010 09:15:45

My Porny Simpson’s engagement was the top story for, oh, maybe 5 minutes. Then Prince William came along and shot her ass off the front page. Swifty and Jakey kept her off too. Now the Brange is dominating the spotlight to sell their new projects... So what does a Porny do? Well, she has to fight for scraps, take whatever she can, talk to whoever will listen. Full Story

Porny Float

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 25, 2010 10:46:19 November 25, 2010 10:46:19

She performed during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York today. Something from her new Christmas album. When I say “performed” I mean she tried really hard to mouth the words. And not forget them. This is not singing. But it is pretty funny. Especially when she scrunches up her nose on the high notes, as if she’s really working to hit them. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Porny’s not pregnant

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 24, 2010 07:19:51 November 24, 2010 07:19:51

At least that’s what she told Access Hollywood. The other day the bump-obsessed among you swore up and down that she looked rough at the airport in New York because she’s in her first trimester. Could be. But she says no. “There are no babies yet. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Hard to say

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2010 10:16:54 November 23, 2010 10:16:54

After the way she looked yesterday at the airport – click here for a refresher – many of you wrote to me swearing up and down that my Porny must be pregnant. You people have also sworn up and down that Kate Hudson/Katie Holmes/Jennifer Garner/Britney Spears/Angelina Jolie have all been pregnant, and they weren’t. Full Story

Porny hides her ring...and not

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 22, 2010 08:20:26 November 22, 2010 08:20:26

Jessica Simpson arrived in New York last night with her fiancé/professional escort and her father. This combination... I mean... How would you like to hang out permanently with your fiance and your father? Look at the two of them side by side. They’re starting to have the same thighs. Gross. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

Porny paid

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 16, 2010 09:29:14 November 16, 2010 09:29:14

See? I knew it. I know her better than she knows herself. I know her better than she knows...anything. Here’s what I wrote yesterday about her pathetic engagement: You have two choices here to explain it: either that dumbass couldn’t wait to tell the world she’s not going to be left behind as a spinster or that dumbass’s opportunistic boyfriend exploited her at her lowest moment, proposed with a Ring Pop, and talked her into buying her own bloody engagement ring at Harry Winston. Full Story

P for Porny, P for Pathetic

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 15, 2010 08:05:23 November 15, 2010 08:05:23

You’ve heard by now I’m sure. Not even a week after her ex-husband’s engagement is announced, Porny Jessica Simpson has confirmed that she’s engaged too. Only Jessica Simpson could turn a wedding proposal into a f-cking consolation prize. And it’s a goddamn embarrassment on so many levels. Full Story

Porny drunk and petty?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 28, 2010 14:16:47 October 28, 2010 14:16:47

It’s my favourite story this week. Remember when Jessica Simpson went out for dinner with her boyfriend at the same restaurant as her ex husband Nick Lachey and ‘Nessa Minnillo? Click here for a refresher. According to Us Weekly, my Porny drank away her insecurities, and then let her bitch out, sniping to a server that, “I hope Vanessa likes her clothes because I bought them for her, since Nick took all my money. Full Story

Pass on Ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 27, 2010 07:36:13 October 27, 2010 07:36:13

Written by Sasha If you’re a long time reader of Lainey’s then you might remember a story about the Colin Farrell eye-fu*k. This isn’t going to be a braggy post, I promise, but now that the dude is single it seems like the appropriate time to re-live the moment. Full Story

The people around Porny...and her ex-husband

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 22, 2010 08:13:34 October 22, 2010 08:13:34

Jessica Simpson and her attachment Eric Johnson went out for dinner last night to Red-O in Hollywood. Also there, purely by coincidence, was ex-husband Nick Lachey with his long-time squeeze Vanessa Minnillo. No, no, no, I’m sure it wasn’t awkward. But Eric was awfully extra about his affection towards Porny while they were leaving, leaning in from behind with the cameras in their faces, recognising a moment where he’d be extra needed. Full Story

View All 14 Photos