Jessica Simpson Gossip

Jessica Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Maybe not in photos?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 24, 2010 08:53:25 June 24, 2010 08:53:25

I wonder if these pants look better in person than in photos. The camera widens. It’s horribly inhumane. And unforgiving. And our Porny, she has so little margin for error. I know because I am the same. I have short stubby legs and wide shoulders. So maybe these pants looked great in person. Maybe in person they don’t give her the stumps. Full Story

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Porny’s jeans & NKOTB

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 23, 2010 07:27:50 June 23, 2010 07:27:50

My Porny was in New York yesterday with her ma to present her new line Jessica Simpson Jeanswear. She already makes a sh-tload of money from her shoe and accessory line (her shoes are actually not bad at all for the price point), and at recommended retail of just $20-$24, this new venture should also be a success too. Full Story

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Porny in the face

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2010 07:51:14 May 26, 2010 07:51:14

Jessica Simpson attended the Gracie Gala last night in Beverly Hills and was honoured with the 2010 Dove Real Beauty Award for her “substance and spirit” as a positive public representative for girls... what? I’ve decided to no longer question this sh-t. Famous people receive awards. Full Story

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Porny’s change pouch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 25, 2010 07:14:08 May 25, 2010 07:14:08

Picture a waitress at a restaurant. And you ask for the check. And she reaches into her change apron and pulls it out. And you hand her your bills, and she digs around in there again and gives you some coins, and a fiver. Isn’t this was what my Porny was wearing around her waist last night at the LG event hosted by Victoria Beckham and Eva Longoria? Yes. Full Story

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Celebrate the rare win

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2010 07:45:52 May 7, 2010 07:45:52

My Porny showed up at the Operation Smile Gala in New York last night and it was not a disaster, not at all. This is not a dress I’d choose for myself, and the print might not be for everyone, but the fit, it’s a good fit for her, it flatters her, she’s not shoving her tits into my face and there’s a nice, defined waist. Full Story

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Yellow Porny vs the ex

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2010 11:41:19 May 3, 2010 11:41:19

My Porny Simpson attended the White House Correspondents’ Dinner this weekend. I supposed it’s not the worst thing she’s ever put on. But still...with the light bouncing off all that yellow sateen, it’s like a f-cking boob eclipse. And she doesn’t exactly look young and fresh. Full Story

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When Porny talks about her mouth...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2010 08:53:03 April 28, 2010 08:53:03

This sh-t just writes itself. "My lips just slide all over the place....I can't catch up with my mouth. I need a little coating...." And you wonder why I call her Porny. It just comes naturally. And this is also why I used to say she had a cocksucker’s mouth. Because, well, she can’t f-cking help it. Full Story

Porny’s matchy matchy lace and length

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 21, 2010 09:26:19 April 21, 2010 09:26:19

NO. It’s ... hideous. My Porny Jessica Simpson is back in New York promoting the final episode of her beauty show. As you can see, Porny wanted to match. Jacket, dress, shoes. And a lace pattern. Sausage lace pattern. That cuts her off at the worst length. F-ck them. They keep telling her it’s flattering. Full Story

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A lift from Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 20, 2010 09:40:01 April 20, 2010 09:40:01

Written by Jacek Crushing loss for my Canucks last night Gossips. Horrible penalty kill, Luongo took the night off (except he did so while in the crease and not on the bench initially, which never turns out well), and lady luck seems to be sitting comfortably in the laps of the Kings. So I’m really looking for something to lift me up today cause the boys have to wait until Wednesday to redeem themselves. Full Story

Porny and the Arm Pose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2010 08:07:10 April 13, 2010 08:07:10

Jessica Simpson was in New York last night for the Good Housekeeping “Shine On” event with her main gay and her mother, two enablers sending her out unprepared and defenceless onto a red carpet. Again. Look at her. She’s an x-rated disaster. Here is not a girl who is as secure as she claims to be. Full Story

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